A world of righteousness starts with the teaching ministry of women. But the woman’s world is sadly lacking here. Instead of fighting for rights to the pulpit, if only women take up the specific ministries prescribed for them by God’s Word, the hands that rock the cradle will rule the world. What hands rock the cradle today? Sweet lullaby is slowly dying out. That’s why the devil is rocking the world. Seeing the world’s disastrous rush, Paul not only “taught” the older women but also encouraged Titus not to leave out the women in his teaching programmes but train them up as teachers as well.
Titus 2:3, “The older WOMEN likewise, that they be ... TEACHERS of good things.”
Who will be pupils of the teachers so trained by God’s women? “the young women.”
The syllabus?
1. “To love their husbands,
2. “To love their children,
3. “To be sensible,
4. “Pure,
5. “Homemakers,
6. “Good,
7. “Obedient to their own husbands.”
No other job for women in the world can be equal to the one ordained by God. Any job “touches” the world; but the woman’s home-job “changes” the world! I am grateful to God that I am a woman and if I were to live again I would choose to be a woman, a wife, a mother, and an housekeeper-evangelist—because I love it.
It is because older women have failed to teach the younger, the world is going topsy-turvy. The numerous broken homes testify against our complacence. Once after my talk on family life, a woman told me, “I wish somebody had told me all these 10 years ago.” I would say the same cocerning myself. Those valuable experiences which you have learnt in life, do share with the younger, thus making life easier for them and the world more pleasant.
1. Love for the husband
Have we not thought that love for the husband is most natural but soon found ourselves on our knees begging the Lord to remove all bitterness from the heart and fill us with love? Yes, Love is rather learnt than acquired. When my husband had headache I would give a paracetamol and go about my work because I would be sure he would be relieved in half an hour. But I would watch with green eyes, my mother-in-law rubbing a balm on his forehead, sitting by his bed, enquiring every five minutes how he was. It was she who thus taught me that the mother’s love is a finite example to be imitated in the growth process of the wife’s love. “Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” Ideally a wife should replace the mother. Let her be his “comfort.” Teach the younger how to do this. Tell her how to express her love to her husband.
2. Love for the children
Many young mothers are sincerely wrong in their way of loving the child. They think love is carrying the child till he is 5 years old, buying lot of candys, sweets and ice-creams or running around him fulfilling all his demands, or not assigning him any house work. Love is understanding. Love teaches obedience. Love does not provoke the child but is firm in disciplining. It does not keep on shouting till the child obeys, but takes the rod of discipline in time. Love has the future of the child in mind. He must become a responsible citizen of the nation and a ready tool for God’s kingdom. Love does not give the child too much of a shelered life. It leaves the child free to learn from minor injuries. It will not give all that the child wants to eat and spoil his health, to spend and spoil his habits, to go anywhere and spoil his character, to be lazy and spoil his physique. It never says, “It is better I do and save a lot of shouting,” but in spite of clumsy works done, tolerates and teaches to do better. It does not do all that the child is supposed to do and make him a dependant weakling. It will not go round closing opened bottles and tins, picking up dirty clothes from all over the house, replacing sandals and books and toys in their place (though it is easier) but gently and firmly expects the child to do it. One who is not a good disciple of the mother will be a poor disciple of the Lord. She is the one who institutes the law in the home (Prov 1:8).
Children also need a lot of open expressive love. Hug them, kiss them, play with them, appreciate them and encourage them. Do not give brutal punishments like locking them up in a room or beating them black and blue. Talk to them freely and listen to them patiently. Rule your children with love, not with rod.
3. Discretion
Women in general lack discretion. We have a claim to wisdom more, because wisdom is afterall “she!” (Prov 9:1). We should prayerfully claim wisdom and discernment. Many times emotions, trials and problems toss about a woman throwing her off her feet. The practical way to discern is to cool down in any turbulent situation and think on the matter calmly. For example -
Why does her husband come late? Is he unfaithful? Has he developed a distaste for home? Is he over-worked as he says? Is he really too friendly with the woman he was talking to? Is he speaking the truth? Should she cry? Should she go to someone for help? Should she fight with him? Tell her to commit the matter to the Lord. She must find out if she is responsbile in any way. Sticking on to her husband through thick and thin is a protection for him. If Michal had been wise enough to leave the comforts of her palace to follow David into the wilderness she would have been spared the heart-ache of the introduction of Abigail and a trail of women into her life. She also need not have unnecessarily fallen into the hands of another man (1 Sam 20:12; 25:42-44). Also many wives dress shabbily, careless of their appearance and expect their husbands to run around them. They should never forget that the husband is constantly thrown together with fashionable women of the world. Though the suggestion here is not to follow the extreme fashions of the world, it is the wife’s bounden duty to be always presentable. She can have an open polite talk with her husband regarding the matter softly. She must see him with an eye of compassion and help him out of it in every possible way. That is discretion. She must, like Job, rise early every morning and pray to God saying. “It may be that my husband and children have sinned,” and do confession for them and keep her family constantly under the blood of Christ (Job 1:5).
4. Chastity
Young women should not imagine that they are free from the temptations of sex just because they are married. They must be warned of the dangers of adultery before the horror strikes. They should not be too free with men, married or unmarried, especially in the absence of their husbands. Innocent friendship may develop into alarming closeness. It is better to avoid entertaining men often in the absence of her husband. Though honest she may be, she should never forget the eye of her neighbours around her, and give room to scandal. Likewise if she is working she should be careful to maintain her testimony. Even if she is friendly with a pure heart, yet if it provokes her husband to jealousy she must be prepared to break the friendship in the interest of her relationship with her husband. No use arguing or fighting over such issues. The relationship with her husband is all that matters for a young wife and nothing is too costly a sacrifice to maintain, nourish and cherish it. Separation unnecessarily exposes her to temptations of lust. Let not a young wife trust her own virture of self-control. The modern trend is to live separately, earn separately and come together on holidays just for a few more pennies, to maintain a higher social status and standard of life. This is deplorable and violating God’s principles.
5. Homemaking
Many young wives these days start looking for a job as soon as they get married. But she can do more by keeping herself at home and looking after home affairs. Let no woman be discouraged because she could not get a job. Any job will only be a demotion as compared to the housewife’s. Because women tend to spend more time outside the home these days, so many mishaps occur in the family. Both come home tired. Each expects the other to prepare coffee. Each is not ready to listen to the other, or the children. Things are stolen, materials are wasted, children are left to themselves. Their teacher, guide and model is their maid. But the moment they speak a bad word the mother slaps the child and threatens to burn his lips with a live coal. The child is stunned. He does not know what wrong he has done. But seeing the mother’s face, whimpers within and quietens down. He knows mother is too busy and too angry to ask for an explanation. Woman, think twice before you take up a job! Oh older women, teach the younger women to be homemaker and save the children. Life experiences are treasures.
Keepers at home means home-making. Many women never keep the home, they just allow it to exist! Time spent in tidying is never a waste. Cleanliness is health for the whole family. It is next to godliness. Don’t dump things. Arrange them. Have a garden, a flower, a colour, a curtain within your means. Buy a cookery book and surprise the family with new dishes! But remember workaholism is a subtle enemy of family life. Keep evenings and nights free of much work, for the family sake.
6. Goodness
Wife is the only one who is expected to be good in the house. The child has to be good in the school but relax at home. The husband has to be good in the office and can be natural at home. But the wife has to be good round the clock! This means she needs more godly exercises. Any trying situation at home should not make her ‘bad.’
7. Obedience to the husband
This is the most trying of all marital experiences. A woman ceases to be an independant individual the moment she is married. She lives not for herself but for someone else. This is the blessed experience of dying to one’s own self. Men do not have such golden opportunities to develop their character because there is no one to be constantly criticising them. But we women are privileged because of constant supervision. She slowly learns that obedience is truly liberation. Teach her to recognise the headship of the man in the house. “To be obedient to their own husbands”! I like the word “own” here. When we develop a sense of ownership for our husbands the grudge of obedience disappears — it is a joyful submission. Many women never truly “own” their husbands because they continue to own their parents. In the beginning of our martial life I complained about something to my parents. Their curt reply threw me off my balance. “What can we do about it? It is now you and your husband.” It was a crude shock to me, their pet child! That was the last time I went to them for support and ever since I have learnt to lean on my husband. Well meaning relatives try to make the girl obedient to them. But this is a disaster to family life.
Conclusion
If every young woman is counseled on these lines a solid foundation could be laid for the individual, the family and the nation. Godly mothers and mother-in-laws are the best teachers. Teach the younger! Save the nation!
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
A world of righteousness starts with the teaching ministry of women. But the woman’s world is sadly lacking here. Instead of fighting for rights to the pulpit, if only women take up the specific ministries prescribed for them by God’s Word, the hands that rock the cradle will rule the world. What hands rock the cradle today? Sweet lullaby is slowly dying out. That’s why the devil is rocking the world. Seeing the world’s disastrous rush, Paul not only “taught” the older women but also encouraged Titus not to leave out the women in his teaching programmes but train them up as teachers as well.
Titus 2:3, “The older WOMEN likewise, that they be ... TEACHERS of good things.”
Who will be pupils of the teachers so trained by God’s women? “the young women.”
The syllabus?
1. “To love their husbands,
2. “To love their children,
3. “To be sensible,
4. “Pure,
5. “Homemakers,
6. “Good,
7. “Obedient to their own husbands.”
No other job for women in the world can be equal to the one ordained by God. Any job “touches” the world; but the woman’s home-job “changes” the world! I am grateful to God that I am a woman and if I were to live again I would choose to be a woman, a wife, a mother, and an housekeeper-evangelist—because I love it.
It is because older women have failed to teach the younger, the world is going topsy-turvy. The numerous broken homes testify against our complacence. Once after my talk on family life, a woman told me, “I wish somebody had told me all these 10 years ago.” I would say the same cocerning myself. Those valuable experiences which you have learnt in life, do share with the younger, thus making life easier for them and the world more pleasant.
1. Love for the husband
Have we not thought that love for the husband is most natural but soon found ourselves on our knees begging the Lord to remove all bitterness from the heart and fill us with love? Yes, Love is rather learnt than acquired. When my husband had headache I would give a paracetamol and go about my work because I would be sure he would be relieved in half an hour. But I would watch with green eyes, my mother-in-law rubbing a balm on his forehead, sitting by his bed, enquiring every five minutes how he was. It was she who thus taught me that the mother’s love is a finite example to be imitated in the growth process of the wife’s love. “Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” Ideally a wife should replace the mother. Let her be his “comfort.” Teach the younger how to do this. Tell her how to express her love to her husband.
2. Love for the children
Many young mothers are sincerely wrong in their way of loving the child. They think love is carrying the child till he is 5 years old, buying lot of candys, sweets and ice-creams or running around him fulfilling all his demands, or not assigning him any house work. Love is understanding. Love teaches obedience. Love does not provoke the child but is firm in disciplining. It does not keep on shouting till the child obeys, but takes the rod of discipline in time. Love has the future of the child in mind. He must become a responsible citizen of the nation and a ready tool for God’s kingdom. Love does not give the child too much of a shelered life. It leaves the child free to learn from minor injuries. It will not give all that the child wants to eat and spoil his health, to spend and spoil his habits, to go anywhere and spoil his character, to be lazy and spoil his physique. It never says, “It is better I do and save a lot of shouting,” but in spite of clumsy works done, tolerates and teaches to do better. It does not do all that the child is supposed to do and make him a dependant weakling. It will not go round closing opened bottles and tins, picking up dirty clothes from all over the house, replacing sandals and books and toys in their place (though it is easier) but gently and firmly expects the child to do it. One who is not a good disciple of the mother will be a poor disciple of the Lord. She is the one who institutes the law in the home (Prov 1:8).
Children also need a lot of open expressive love. Hug them, kiss them, play with them, appreciate them and encourage them. Do not give brutal punishments like locking them up in a room or beating them black and blue. Talk to them freely and listen to them patiently. Rule your children with love, not with rod.
3. Discretion
Women in general lack discretion. We have a claim to wisdom more, because wisdom is afterall “she!” (Prov 9:1). We should prayerfully claim wisdom and discernment. Many times emotions, trials and problems toss about a woman throwing her off her feet. The practical way to discern is to cool down in any turbulent situation and think on the matter calmly. For example -
Why does her husband come late? Is he unfaithful? Has he developed a distaste for home? Is he over-worked as he says? Is he really too friendly with the woman he was talking to? Is he speaking the truth? Should she cry? Should she go to someone for help? Should she fight with him? Tell her to commit the matter to the Lord. She must find out if she is responsbile in any way. Sticking on to her husband through thick and thin is a protection for him. If Michal had been wise enough to leave the comforts of her palace to follow David into the wilderness she would have been spared the heart-ache of the introduction of Abigail and a trail of women into her life. She also need not have unnecessarily fallen into the hands of another man (1 Sam 20:12; 25:42-44). Also many wives dress shabbily, careless of their appearance and expect their husbands to run around them. They should never forget that the husband is constantly thrown together with fashionable women of the world. Though the suggestion here is not to follow the extreme fashions of the world, it is the wife’s bounden duty to be always presentable. She can have an open polite talk with her husband regarding the matter softly. She must see him with an eye of compassion and help him out of it in every possible way. That is discretion. She must, like Job, rise early every morning and pray to God saying. “It may be that my husband and children have sinned,” and do confession for them and keep her family constantly under the blood of Christ (Job 1:5).
4. Chastity
Young women should not imagine that they are free from the temptations of sex just because they are married. They must be warned of the dangers of adultery before the horror strikes. They should not be too free with men, married or unmarried, especially in the absence of their husbands. Innocent friendship may develop into alarming closeness. It is better to avoid entertaining men often in the absence of her husband. Though honest she may be, she should never forget the eye of her neighbours around her, and give room to scandal. Likewise if she is working she should be careful to maintain her testimony. Even if she is friendly with a pure heart, yet if it provokes her husband to jealousy she must be prepared to break the friendship in the interest of her relationship with her husband. No use arguing or fighting over such issues. The relationship with her husband is all that matters for a young wife and nothing is too costly a sacrifice to maintain, nourish and cherish it. Separation unnecessarily exposes her to temptations of lust. Let not a young wife trust her own virture of self-control. The modern trend is to live separately, earn separately and come together on holidays just for a few more pennies, to maintain a higher social status and standard of life. This is deplorable and violating God’s principles.
5. Homemaking
Many young wives these days start looking for a job as soon as they get married. But she can do more by keeping herself at home and looking after home affairs. Let no woman be discouraged because she could not get a job. Any job will only be a demotion as compared to the housewife’s. Because women tend to spend more time outside the home these days, so many mishaps occur in the family. Both come home tired. Each expects the other to prepare coffee. Each is not ready to listen to the other, or the children. Things are stolen, materials are wasted, children are left to themselves. Their teacher, guide and model is their maid. But the moment they speak a bad word the mother slaps the child and threatens to burn his lips with a live coal. The child is stunned. He does not know what wrong he has done. But seeing the mother’s face, whimpers within and quietens down. He knows mother is too busy and too angry to ask for an explanation. Woman, think twice before you take up a job! Oh older women, teach the younger women to be homemaker and save the children. Life experiences are treasures.
Keepers at home means home-making. Many women never keep the home, they just allow it to exist! Time spent in tidying is never a waste. Cleanliness is health for the whole family. It is next to godliness. Don’t dump things. Arrange them. Have a garden, a flower, a colour, a curtain within your means. Buy a cookery book and surprise the family with new dishes! But remember workaholism is a subtle enemy of family life. Keep evenings and nights free of much work, for the family sake.
6. Goodness
Wife is the only one who is expected to be good in the house. The child has to be good in the school but relax at home. The husband has to be good in the office and can be natural at home. But the wife has to be good round the clock! This means she needs more godly exercises. Any trying situation at home should not make her ‘bad.’
7. Obedience to the husband
This is the most trying of all marital experiences. A woman ceases to be an independant individual the moment she is married. She lives not for herself but for someone else. This is the blessed experience of dying to one’s own self. Men do not have such golden opportunities to develop their character because there is no one to be constantly criticising them. But we women are privileged because of constant supervision. She slowly learns that obedience is truly liberation. Teach her to recognise the headship of the man in the house. “To be obedient to their own husbands”! I like the word “own” here. When we develop a sense of ownership for our husbands the grudge of obedience disappears — it is a joyful submission. Many women never truly “own” their husbands because they continue to own their parents. In the beginning of our martial life I complained about something to my parents. Their curt reply threw me off my balance. “What can we do about it? It is now you and your husband.” It was a crude shock to me, their pet child! That was the last time I went to them for support and ever since I have learnt to lean on my husband. Well meaning relatives try to make the girl obedient to them. But this is a disaster to family life.
Conclusion
If every young woman is counseled on these lines a solid foundation could be laid for the individual, the family and the nation. Godly mothers and mother-in-laws are the best teachers. Teach the younger! Save the nation!
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
