Are your ears open?
Reading: Genesis 18:23-33
“To answer before listening is folly and shame” (Prov 18:13)
Mothers and wives today are too busy to listen. No wonder children run to their grandmothers. Unfortunately many grandmothers are busy too! We talk a lot. But listening is an art to be developed. People are looking for someone to listen to them.
How many of us have time to patiently listen to our children, dropping the work in our hands? We shoo them away too often. Children are hungry to pour out their hearts if we are ready to calmly listen. Sometimes when we are angry, we don’t even give them a chance to explain what happened. If we are too busy we can always say, “Darling, shall we sit and calmly talk after half an hour? I’ll be free then.” The child should know that you are interested to listen. Encourage the child to talk by giving her your total attention and facial expressions. Do not interrupt the catharsis. Let the child finish. Instead of a prejudiced or judgmental reply, be open to consider the child’s point of view or give wise counsel.
Why is it so difficult to calmly listen when we argue with our husbands? Usually we are planning our next sentence mentally instead of listening. We have already decided that our point of view is right and we try to convince the other. Instead if we let him talk without interruption, we may arrive at a better conclusion. Our God is a good listener (Gen 18:23-33).
Conflicts are unavoidable. But if we can do it respectfully without becoming emotional or angry, fights will bring us closer. It helps to understand your partner better. Agreeing quickly just to avoid conflicts rarely helps. You are just postponing the problem; you are shutting your spouse’s mouth by saying, “Ok, ok, I agree.” You don’t let him express his feelings. Listening and trying to understand his feelings can bring you closer. Sadly, many of us miss these opportunities to connect.
Make yourself available. Don’t let your mobile phone disturb you. Nothing is more important than listening to your spouse if you are keen on building up your relationship, even if it is a criticisim or accusation. Indifference to what your spouse is sharing is disrespecting him. Try to look into his eyes when he is talking and express yourself by nods or understanding looks. There is a great hunger to be heard and that means we should develop listening skills.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
Are your ears open?
Reading: Genesis 18:23-33
“To answer before listening is folly and shame” (Prov 18:13)
Mothers and wives today are too busy to listen. No wonder children run to their grandmothers. Unfortunately many grandmothers are busy too! We talk a lot. But listening is an art to be developed. People are looking for someone to listen to them.
How many of us have time to patiently listen to our children, dropping the work in our hands? We shoo them away too often. Children are hungry to pour out their hearts if we are ready to calmly listen. Sometimes when we are angry, we don’t even give them a chance to explain what happened. If we are too busy we can always say, “Darling, shall we sit and calmly talk after half an hour? I’ll be free then.” The child should know that you are interested to listen. Encourage the child to talk by giving her your total attention and facial expressions. Do not interrupt the catharsis. Let the child finish. Instead of a prejudiced or judgmental reply, be open to consider the child’s point of view or give wise counsel.
Why is it so difficult to calmly listen when we argue with our husbands? Usually we are planning our next sentence mentally instead of listening. We have already decided that our point of view is right and we try to convince the other. Instead if we let him talk without interruption, we may arrive at a better conclusion. Our God is a good listener (Gen 18:23-33).
Conflicts are unavoidable. But if we can do it respectfully without becoming emotional or angry, fights will bring us closer. It helps to understand your partner better. Agreeing quickly just to avoid conflicts rarely helps. You are just postponing the problem; you are shutting your spouse’s mouth by saying, “Ok, ok, I agree.” You don’t let him express his feelings. Listening and trying to understand his feelings can bring you closer. Sadly, many of us miss these opportunities to connect.
Make yourself available. Don’t let your mobile phone disturb you. Nothing is more important than listening to your spouse if you are keen on building up your relationship, even if it is a criticisim or accusation. Indifference to what your spouse is sharing is disrespecting him. Try to look into his eyes when he is talking and express yourself by nods or understanding looks. There is a great hunger to be heard and that means we should develop listening skills.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
