There is no one in this world not in pursuit of happiness.
The problem is that the majority adopt selfish methods to lay hold of it.
Here in this book are listed TWELVE VIRTUES, simple and easy to understand and practice.
If sincerely embraced, you will soon be on your way to the discovery of true and lasting happiness!
A very unconventional greeting indeed! We start the year with Happy New Year greetings. Often the very next day is one of gloom. Why not make each month a happy month and end this year a truly happy one?
In a description of heaven we read, "On each side of the river, stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month" (Rev 22:2a). For God's people the earth is the ground-floor of heaven and to enjoy heaven on earth, practise a virtue each month. You'll make yourself and others happy.
To make this month a happy one, learn to SMILE! We live in a sad, sad world. Individuals are sad, families are sad, and churches are sad. Your cherubic smile can make your family smile; your family your church; and your church in turn can make the world smile.
First thing in the morning, let out an unbridled smile at your parents/spouse. It has a profound effect on you and the other. Do not demand coffee with a grouchy face before wishing Good Morning with a wink and giant smile. When the children wake up, give them a bear hug and a kiss. May be you went to bed murmuring. But sweep out the debris of yesterday. Let not the devil have you right where he wants you. The first few days may be embarassing. You'll gradually tide over it and set sail into a Happy January. Soon you'll notice that life has taken an upward swing. We have come a long way off in our married life since the decision. The paranoid attempt has turned into a passionate act. "If your Christianity doesn't work at home, it doesn't work at all. Don't export it," says Howard Hendrix.
Smile and laughter are infective. In conception Abraham gave laughter to Sarah. Sarah in turn gave back the full-fledged grin named Isaac to Abraham and said, "God has made me laugh, so that all who hear will laugh with me" (Gen 21:6). It starts with one but tickles everyone. Isn't that wonderful?
Some of us are naturally gregarious and fun-loving, while others are the moody sort. But if joy is the fruit of the Spirit, then we must learn the art. We need not always bask in happiness to laugh. God told Abraham that he would have a son. The man who could have let disappointment sour his life, doubled up in laughter (Gen 17:17). He did not believe the promise. But that didn't hold in his merry spirit. So was Sarah (18:12). Laughter and smile should be sorrow-proof.
Simple silence has ruptured amity, because smile is the language of the heart. "They don't love, that do not show their love," wrote Shakespeare. The Preacher said of laughter, "It is madness" and of mirth, "What does it accomplish?" (Eccl 2:2). But his conclusion was that there was nothing better under the sun than to be merry (Eccl 8:15). If I have to live my life over again. I'll smile and laugh more. Since I learnt this art, I can boldly say I have become a better doctor, better soulwinner, better wife and mother.
You can't smile without cheering yourself up; and that can change people's attitudes, mend people and even heal memories. Smile breaks the stark coldness between neighbours, strangers and even enemies. It is the nicest expression. It is the cheapest and easiest gift one can give to another. Why hold it?
You may have fellow students you never got to know; or coworkers you daily meet but never bothered to smile at. There may be a neighbour who often passes by your house. Friendships, just a heartbeat away, may be missed if you don't smile. Flash a big friendly grin. You will find that you become a more likeable person, nice to be around with. Smile changes the chemistry of all relationships.
People are more receptive to the gospel preached by a smiling person. Hearts open up to a smiley face. Smile has many virtues. But the best of the lot is that it cannot hurt anyone. So why fear to smile? There's an old Roman custom to throw off something old at midnight on New Year's Eve. Shall we throw out our murky moodiness and put a permanent smile-sticker to our lips and step out into the New Year? Smile gives a dash of colour to your day and a sprinkle of spices to your gruelling work. It puts light in your eyes. Are you crying that you don't have a talent? Smiling is solid-gold talent.
Finally, there is no one more charming than a smiling person. You certainly look more beautiful with a smile. So do be smiling!
Hope you had a Happy January. Please continue to smile along February and please practise to say "PLEASE" through this month. The Bible says that the words of Jesus were gracious (Lk 4:22).
An Indian brother with an Einstenian head asked a lady shopkeeper in the States to "take that doll." She gave him a stern look and said, "Gentleman, please say: Please take that doll." Any of us would have made the same mistake. We Indians are very good people but we are not generally taught to be polite. Now that the world is getting scrambled, it is time we practise politeness.
Young people sound very rude to their parents, because they rarely use the word 'please.' Learn to say, "Mummy, may I please invite my friend?" or, "Daddy, can I please go out today? Please daddy." Then they are sure to rub their eyes in surprise and consider your request. Make it a habit. Good habits are as easy to form as bad ones. There are countries, places and homes where ignorance is unforgivable. So learn good habits before your tarnish your social image.
Within the family circle politeness is the grease without which there will be a lot of screeches and scratches. If parents use "please" oftener, children will be better listeners. They also learn to be polite outside the home. Even simple statements should be mollified as, "Please pass the salt" or "Please, can you come for a minute?"
Husbands and wives should not take each other for granted. They should be as polite as when they were courting. Familiarity breeds contempt. But adding "please" to orders gives no room for such breeding. You may shout, "Can't you see I am waiting for you?" or say, "Honey, please hurry up, or we'll be late." The wife may also answer in two ways: " I am not idling here" or "Please, just a minute." It makes a lot of difference. A man or woman who continues to be polite against all odds is sure to evoke a change even in the gruffest person.
It is a magic word that gets things done. It ensures smooth working relationship. One complains about his subordinate or coworker. But often the truth is that the senior has not learnt the knack of getting things done. He orders and the subordinate stiffens. People are waking up to their identity and everyone demands respect. So do not become too big for your boots. If you are hell-bent on being a commander, you are destroying yourself. Especially ladies should be very gentle in requesting men. A man resents being ordered around by a woman, whether junior or senior. A wise leader "pleases" his followers and there is nothing stronger in this world than gentleness.
Paul would not command Philemon to accept Onesimus but wrote: "For love's sake I rather appeal" (vv 8,9). Who was Paul and who was Philemon? Philemon owed his very self to Paul (v 19). But Paul did not rise above him authoritatively but only beseeched or pleaded. What an example set before us by a great apostle!
"People are musical instruments that resonate according to who touches them," said Constancio Vigil. A "please" is enough to tug their heart strings. But if you say "please" with a smile, you may even bring out the music in people!
Silence is as strong as words, if not stronger. Silence brings as much happiness as words, if not more. If used appropriately, it can silence the most virulent talkers or initiate the dumb to speak. If it needs your body and mind to speak, it needs body, mind and will to be silent. To enjoy a Happy March, practise the art of SILENCE.
It is an art indeed because it needs a lot of self-discipline and time to achieve. Learn to keep your mouth shut when words come rolling by. Try to listen when the other person is throwing up. Train yourself to control your spirit when you are seething. Very rarely has a man felt sorry for his silence. It pays off abundantly in the end.
There was every reason for Saul to shower nasty words on the scoundrels who despised him when he was anointed king. But Saul "held his peace" (1 Sam 10:27). That is, he did not allow his peace to be disturbed. David went through the discipline of silence. His enemies' words fell on his ears but David conducted himself like a deaf man, and like a dumb man opened not his mouth. Why? "You will answer, O Lord." He decided to be silent to avoid sin. Though there were rightful things to be said, he refrained from speaking (Psa 38:12-15; 39:1-2). When he was angry, he talked only to God (vv 3,4). Even Jesus at times preferred silence to speech (Isa 53:7; Mt 26:63). Hannah was a woman who refused to give vent to her anger when her adversary provoked her relentlessly. She would simply weep and take her burden to the Lord (1 Sam 1).
What do we learn from these examples? There will be temptations for us in our various walks in the world to speak unadvisedly with our lips. But the Bible commends a quiet spirit.
We rail foul words at our children and hand over insults irrationally. Fights between husband and wife which ought to have died without fuel have burnt down families because at least one was not wise enough to shut up. Relationships which could have become stronger and stronger have crumbled to dust. Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have made husbands weep because at least one could not contain herself. Would you choose today to be that least one?
What can a small dose of determined silence do? It can save you from untold misery. It fills your heart, mind and soul with a profound peace. God will reward you sooner or later. We have missed God's blessings in an attempt to prove our cause. We have not given a chance for God to prove Himself mighty on our behalf, because we have fought our own battles (2 Chron 16:9).
There is "a time to keep silence and a time to speak" (Eccl 3:7). We need commonsense to speak. But we need an uncommon sense to discern when to use our commonsense and when to lie low. Blessed is the man who discerns the 'time to keep silence.'
"Teach me, and I will be quiet, show me where I have been wrong." "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips" (Job 6:24; Psa141:3).
Any day, any month, any year is bound to be happy if we say, "THANK YOU LORD!" for everything. For this is God's will for us in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:16).
One of the signs of the last days in ungratefulness (2 Tim 3:2). Jude calls ungrateful people grumblers and fault-finders (v 16). If we don't make a conscious effort to be thankful, we'll join this gang.
If the sun is hot we grumble. If the rain is chill we murmur. But if we thank the Lord for the sun and the rain in our lives, it will produce a rainbow. It is habitual for some to grumble and find fault with everything. It is difficult to satisfy them. They always seem to live with heartburn. But grateful people live in peaceful serenity.
If you are not satisfied with what you have, you are not going to be satisfied with what you are going to get. If you are not happy where you are, you are not going to be happy where you will be. If you get close to people who have plenty, you'll discover, after all they're empty. They live in a beautiful hell.
The Bible admonishes us to give thanks to God "always" for "everything" (Eph 5:20). Is that possible? Yes, if we realise:
1. We came naked into this world and whatever we have now is God's gracious gift to us.
2. How we will be without what we already have.
3. Material things shall pass away.
4. We are in God's hand.
5. All things work together for good to us.
6. For every legitimate grumble, we have 101 things to be infinitely thankful for.
This does not mean an idiotic acceptance of the problems that encounter us, No. It is not a passive resignation. It is learning to tide over our problems with praise in our lips. It is fighting our battles without blaming God. It is correcting someone without losing our temper. It is asking God whatever we want, with thanksgiving.
We are asked to give thanks not only for every "thing" but also for every "one." "I exhort first of all, that ... giving of thanks be made for everyone" (1 Tim 2:1). Is someone making life miserable for you? Father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife or anyone? Start thanking God for them. It will be a mount-of-transfiguration experience to you. Is someone pulling the rug from under your feet? Just say, "Thank you Lord" and the Lord will put a mattress for you to fall down and rest.
God is interested in something much more important than our comfort. He is keen on developing our character. That's why He is bent on sending us through uncomfortable paths. At the end of the road, we shall be as He is. Should we not say, "Thank you Lord" for that?
Those who know God and yet fail to give thanks to Him become fools, says Paul (Rom 1:21). Let our mouth refuse to grumble but be filled with thanks always, lest we become April Fools!
If there is something in the world which everyone loves but only a few get, something that everyone can give but just a handful give, that is APPRECIATION. If we learn to pronounce two simple words, "very good," we will see a lot more happy faces around us, earn a good number of friends and convert most of our enemies.
Every individual treasures his self-esteem. Every word of commendation builds up a person's self-worth. When one is being constantly criticised or snubbed, his self-respect is demolished. He develops an inferiority complex. When so many are in the demolition business, at least we Christians should strive to build up people with words of appreciation.
The human mind naturally focuses on flaws. We shall give it a one-month training on highlighting the plus points. People are people. No one is immune to commendations. This goes first for physical appearance. Try never to pass a negative comment on someone's looks. If one is not good looking, praise his intelligence or work or something. Tell your children how smart they look. A man who fails to appreciate his wife but keeps on complaining about her should realise that soon someone would come along and woo her with his words of praise ... and vice versa!
If you start with "very good," it is easy to go on to constructive criticism, may be at a second sitting. That way, you tell him, you are really interested in improving him. Jesus first appreciated Peter for the revelation he had received. The next moment he chided Peter for his Satanic suggestion. Peter did not quit the team, knowing his Master would pat him on the back when he did well (Mt 16:18-23).
Many followers leave a leader because all they ever receive are criticisms and corrections. Salt is good; but a dishful of salt makes one vomit. No tree grows under a banyan tree. If a leader wants those under his shadow to grow up, he must know the art of appreciation. It is difficult for a natural leader to see anything good in a follower, because the leader excels in everything. But if he can discover the germ of good in each person and blow it up, the follower is sure to become better and one day, the best. Resist the temptation to become a perfection freak, proof-reading everyone.
There is no need to feel threatened to have an excelling follower. Openly acknowledge his talents and give him enough room to develop. He will be a pillar of support for you and become a secondline leader. Saul so lost David. But Paul was not stingy with his superlatives. He habitually appreciated his helpers in his epistles.
Do not hold in a word of praise due to a person, though he be your rival or enemy. If someone praises another person to you, pass it on. If you are mistakenly praised, naively acknowledge to whom the praise is due.
Everyday when you walk out of the house, load your pocket or handbag with precious stones of, "very good, wow, nice, sweet, cute, lovely, excellent, beautiful, terrific, pretty, handsome, better, best" etc. Watch out. There are a host of people around you, bulldozed by others. Lift up everyone of them by gifting a precious stone. That may be the cheapest gift you give someone. But that will be the costliest for the recipient.
A miracle happens to the person whose self-esteem has been raised. He is a changed human being who faces the world with self-confidence. He suddenly becomes loving, gentle and cooperative. And the miracle is in your mouth!
Whether to be happy or not is in our hands. Our mistake is to expect others to keep us happy. There are many who are bent on killing our happiness by throwing insults on us. But don't let that steal away your happiness. It could be unintentional also. Learn to take such things easy. Just say, "It's all right, it's o.k., what is there, doesn't matter, NEVER MIND," and surely you'll bag happiness this month.
Joseph said, "Never mind," for all that his brothers did to him (Gen 50:18-21). Jesus was not offered water to wash His feet or anointed with oil or received with a kiss as was the custom those days. But He did not make a big fuss about it. Only when He had to rebuke His host He touched on it (Lk 7:44-46). He remarked that the pharisees expected people to greet them (Mt 23:7). That shows that Jesus did not. He took it all lightly and so people were comfortable with Him. People knew they could be free in His presence without the fear of offending Him. Yes, love is not easily offended (1 Cor 13:5).
In the early days of my marriage I used to cry my heart out for the chiding words of my mother-in-law and husband. Even after they explained I found it hard to be reconciled. Little did I realise I was destroying my own happiness. The turning point came one day when the Lord asked me, "Are you a big shot that no one should offend you?" From that day onwards I struggled to take things lightly. Only then was I able to keep cool. Then I could comprehend that it was my disorganised way of doing household things that irritated them. Only then I started working on overcoming my indisciplined ways. It was during those days that the Lord taught me humility and moulded me for ministry. God plans every minute of our present with the future in view.
I am happier today. I just tell myself. "It's all right. My husband is my friend. Why shuold I be upset for such a trivial matter?" Then I calm down. The bitterness melts away like snow on a sunny day. Sometimes I entertain the bitterness to ferment and I find myself accidentally breaking things, spilling fluids and doing a lot of such things that waste my time and energy. Then I realize my folly. If I let my mind to be disturbed, my actions were disturbed too.
Bitterness can turn into anger if not weeded out in the bud. King Uzziah became a leper not mainly because he went to burn incense to the Lord, but because he became angry with the priests who tried to stop him. If he had immeadiately humbled himself he could have escaped the ravaging disease. If we allow a bitter spirit to grow in us, the Lord will punish us. If we are tuned to the Holy Spirit we will know that the mishap was allowed by God. If we are not plugged in, His message will not reach us. If we receive the message and yet refuse to cool down, then while we are raging the leprosy will break out on our foreheads for all to see our disobedience and punishment (2 Chron 26:16-20).
Naaman felt insulted, the way Elisha treated him, without even inviting him inside his home. He went away angry. But he listened to his servants and turned away from his anger and was healed of his leprosy.
There will always be some people to hurt, reject, overlook, bypass, insult or disrespect us either intentionally or unintentionally. NEVER MIND. Take it easy. They are employees in God's school of humility for us. Throw this challenge: Can you make me angry? Let anyone try to make you angry and face utter defeat. Refuse to get angry. then this will be the most joyous month you have ever enjoyed!
One of the very difficult sentences to say is, "I AM SORRY!" Few discover the victory hidden in that defeat, the joy hidden in that sorrow. As a man matures he uses these words oftener. This does not mean he makes more and more mistakes, but that he is now able to see his mistakes and accept them. He grows into a better understanding of himself and a bettering of self.
What makes it so difficult to accept and acknowledge our mistakes or sins? Because, often it is taken as an acceptance of defeat. It is a blow on our ego. We fear the ridicule of our companions. But God sees it differently. For Him a righteous man is not a perfect man; but the one who falls down seven times, yet gets up dusting his clothes saying, "I am sorry." Everytime a man says that, he takes a giant step forward.
When we make a mistake, the smartest thing to do is to accept it and move forward. But for some prideful reason we try to cover it up. If it comes to light we usually defend ourselves. If we have the upper hand we would rather continue in the mistake than accept the correction. That is unbecoming arrogance. To become correction-proof can be the most dangerous thing that can happen to you.
Listen to the tale of woe of a young man who refused to say these golden words early, but learnt it only when his flesh and body were rotting. "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors. I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly" (Prov 5:11-14). Stern discipline and instruction are yokes indeed. But they lead you in the right direction and save you from destruction.
The frustrating fact of life is that we all make mistakes. We grow by correcting our mistakes. Our ideas keep changing. If we reach a point where no one can correct us, there our growth stops. That's why the Bible admonishes us to exhort one another "daily" (Heb 10:25). I receive some letters of criticism for my writings. I value them. They make me think and mould my thoughts. Is there someone around you with an irksome suggestion now and then to better what you are doing? Quit getting irritated and learn to accept the useful suggestions with a "thank you."
There are not many who have the courage to say, "You are wrong." One is your spouse. If you are a touch-me-not, you may be silencing you partner forever to your own disadvantage. Truly, a superfast, express to marital harmony is to say, "I am sorry," where you usually quake with anger at your spouse's hard or soft correction.
I was an ardent Sabbath observer. After our marriage once my husband sat with me for half a day and explained the Book of Galatians. Scales fell off my eyes and I was only too quick to escape on to the palace of grace from the prison of Law. I was not ashamed to tell folks, I was wrong.
As long as the clay remains pliable, there is scope for improvement. And what is this pliability? It is the ability to say, "I am sorry" and change. We are clay in God's hand, in the making. The moment we stop saying. "I am sorry" the moulding process comes to a grinding halt and we remain marred forever (Jer 18:4).
Everytime you hesitate to say, "I am sorry," remember, you are sliding down. But if you can repeat those golden words as often as necessary, that's going to revolutionize your life and make you a happy person!
SACRIFICE sounds a note of sadness; but it is that which teaches us the spelling of joy. The word is in danger of becoming obsolete. Let us take at least one step forward and upward in sacrifice, this month.
Superfluity should not displace sacrifice. In the Book of Acts we read that the believers, "sold their possessions and goods and gave to anyone as he had need ... glad hearts" (2:45,46). Note need, not greed! "No one claimed that any of this possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had" (4:32). "There was no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need" (4:34,35). Why does the Bible sound crazy when we read through this? We need to think radically to have that much faith to sacrifice, which makes us rich towards God! (Lk 12:21; Mt 13:44,45). Let us not be looking at our needs all the time. We can do without it, if we have the mind. Let us look at others' needs.
Sacrifice may also be just waiting on tables for God (Acts 6:2), investing our extra time for spreading the gospel like Stephen and Philip (Acts 7,8), helping new converts in their persecution (9:25), praying (12:5), opening the house for fellowship (16:15), accomodating a ministerial team (21:9), suffering beatings, dangers, hunger, thirst, nakedness, cold, hardwork, sleeplessness for the gospel sake (2 Cor 11:25-27), and so many more things. Our senses must be sharp to understand what, where, when and how God wants us to sacrifice.
There should be sacrifice on the part of the giver and the recipient. When believers give liberally, how sacrificial are the leaders and fulltime workers in handling funds? When Jesus' ministry grew, many supported it through their money (Lk 8:3). But till the end Jesus was the plain and simple man that he was. In the temple the widow paid her mites and the high priest lived in a palace! None of the apostles became rich though treasures were laid at their feet. Barnabas a Levite sold his field and gave the money (Acts 4:36, 37). People sacrifice and give. So ministers of the gospel should sacrificially spend.
Ministers should not plunge a three-pronged fork into the offering of God's people (1 Sam 2:13-17). "This sin of the young men was very great in the Lord's sight, for they were treating the Lord's offering with contempt." God told Samuel, "You scorn My sacrifice and offering ... fattening yourselves" (v29). He pronounced a terrible judgment on the house of Eli. Are we increasing at the cost of the church or Mission? Do we take advantage of the Mission or live to the advantage of the Mission? Are we making money out of sheep business, saying. "Praise the Lord, I am rich"? (Zech 11:5).
We have a missionary who shares the blessings he gets from his parents with other missionaries. Another returned his Christmas clothing allowance because his parents bought his Christmas clothes. Let's follow such examples. Beware of the temptation to misuse God's money because somebody else is doing it.
Sacrifice makes someone else happy. And what else is happiness except to make others happy? Let no day in August go without sacrifice and the joy of the Lord will fill you this month.
The 'I' is the centre of S-I-N which is the centre of all unhappiness. The more and more we erase 'I' in our life and vocabulary the happier and happier we grow.
The 'I' was the cause for the fall of the anointed cherub. 'I' will ascend to heaven; 'I' will raise my throne .... 'I' will sit enthroned .... 'I' will ascend above .... 'I' will make myself like the Most High. His desire was to take God's place. So God cast him down (Isa 14:13-15; Ezek 28:12-17). The desire to be like God was the doom for Eve (Gen 3:5).
Every proud 'I' that we pronounce is trying to be like God; because without Him we can do nothing (Jn 15:5). When Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, what are we? Less than nothing? No. Less than less-than-nothing.
"I will" is the pride of future. "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth" (Prov 27:1). Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that" (Js 4:15). Examine your motives. Do you want to do it for selfish reasons? Will it bring honour to you or to God?
What I heard from the mouth of a man of God often flashes in my mind: "The higher you climb the greater is the injury of a fall. Lie down on a mat. Then you can never fall down." If you are always humble God's smile is ever on you. But He resists the proud.
God alone has every reason to be proud. Stop playing God. We should never ever act like God. When a miracle was expected of Jacob he was angry and said. "Am I in the place of God?" (Gen 30:1,2). Peter said, "Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? ... It is Jesus' Name" (Acts 3:12,16). When Paul healed a lame man the crowd called him a god and wanted to garland him. But he tore his clothes and told them he was as human as they, and directed all the glory to the living God (Acts 14). When people throw garlands on you, duck down so that they will fall on God who is behind you. God struck Nebuchadnezzar when he said, "Is not this the great Babylon 'I' have built?" (Dan 4:30). These are pride of past. How many bitter lessons we learn before we learn the 'Not-I-but-Christ' philosophy of Paul (Gal 2:20).
Joseph and Daniel did not claim to possess extraordinary powers to interpret dreams. They humbly acknowledged that it was God who revealed mysteries, not they (Gen 41:16; Dan 2:26-28). When Joseph's brothers sought mercy at his hands, he wept. The scene always moves me. He said, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God?" and he reassured them and spoke kindly to them (Gen 50:18-21). Oh, how proudly we take vengeance on our brothers and sisters who harm us. Are we in the place of God? "Vengeance is mine; I will repay," says the Lord (Rom 12:19). Let us never try to do what the Lord alone can do.
"Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant, than pretend to be somebody and have no food" (Prov 12:9). That is, if you are spiritually or materially rich, don't show off, be humble. Solomon has more to say on 'I'. "Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth" (Prov 27:2). And what when you are praised? "The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives" (Prov 27:21). God knows your heart by the way you react when praise is showered on you (Prov 17:3).
"He must increase and 'I' must decrease," said the greatest of men born of women (Jn 3:30). How can 'I' decrease? It is only by constantly confessing, "I am what I am by the grace of God" (1 Cor 15:10). That keeps us humble in all tenses.
"Joy complete by .... humility" (Phil 2:2-3).
Personal achievement may bring joy. But the greatest happiness comes from PARTNERSHIP. Recently I read a quotation, "A single Christian is not a Christian." Christianity is a 'together' religion. When the 'I' goes off our lives and the 'We' comes in, the personal joy is doubled.
The friendship of David and Jonathan who stood as 'We' till death parted them, is a classic example for lessons on friendship.
1. Love him as yourself.
"Jonathan ... loved him as himself" (1 Sam 18:1). They were rightly rivals. But Jonathan was the least jealous. There was no question of, "Who is the greatest?" If Jonathan wanted to be great, he wanted David in that place. When there is a conflict between you and your school friend or wife or coworker, think, "What would I do if I were in the other's place?" The answer would solve any problem.
2. Rejoice with him.
Celebrate his victories. Jonathan was the first to award a trophy to David for his victory over Goliath. He gave David his royal robe, tunic, sword, bow and belt. A covenant was made to hold the friendship together (1 Sam 18:3,4). Seemingly small expressions of appreciation hold friendships together.
3. Grieve with him.
"Laugh and everyone laughs with you; cry and you cry alone," is a true saying. Your friend needs a shoulder to cry on, remember. Be there in his sorrows. "Jonathan ... did not eat, because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David" (1 Sam 20:34).
4. Speak for him.
If an opportunity presents when you can put in a word for your friend, to the teacher, officer or superior, do not let it slip by. It goes a long way in cementing your relationship. "Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father" (1 Sam 19:4,5).
5. Protect him.
"Jonathan ... warned him: My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard ..." (1 Sam 19:1,2). Is your friend's life, business, family, property or name or anything at stake? Do your best to protect him. Cover him up. Don't hesitate to warn him. Don't let people dig informations out of you. We don't owe the truth to everyone.
6. Don't compete with him.
Saul said to Jonathan, "As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established" (1 Sam 20:31). Jonathan knew it. But he accepted God's plan for his life. He said, "You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you" (1 Sam 23:17). What a mature attitude! If this is the kind of love we have for each other, where are conflicts?
7. Be helpful.
The crown prince says to the army officer David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you" (1 Sam 20:4). A friend in need is a friend indeed. Practical Christianity is very much lacking today. We would rather do some 'ministry' than cook or baby-sit for a sick friend. Never lose the personal touch in relationships.
8. Be open.
Hypocrisy is sister to deceit. Straightforwardness nurtures trust in the hearts of friends though it may temporarily seem to hamper it. Jonathan said his father would never kill David (1 Sam 20:2). Even if he had the least inkling, he said, he would inform David (v9). When he came to know of his father's plot he informed David. Let your friend see your heart, good or bad, then he'll stick by you.
9. Risk for him.
"Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" asked Jonathan. Saul hurled his spear to kill him (1 Sam 20:32,33). Jonathan risked his very life for David. A relationship that takes risks is worth calling friendship. Do you remember taking a risk for someone?
10. Keep God between you.
Let God be the centre of your relationship. Jonathan said, "The Lord is witness between you and me forever" (1 Sam 20:23). Do anything with the fear of God.
A month with a friend is a happy month, isn't it?
After ten months of exercise to be happy if you are still dull, maybe LAUGHTER is missing in your life. Maybe you are super-spiritual! Let laughter fill November and spill over into December. "Do not be over-righteous ... Why destroy yourself? ... It is good to grasp the one and not let go off the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes" (Eccl 7:16,18).
Many have grasped sobriety and let go off laughter, grasped ministry and let go off family fun, or grasped sagacity and let go off the joy from their lives. We must weep and we must laugh; we must mourn and we must dance; we must embrace and we must refrain. Unless we hold on to both, life will be lopsided.
We think of God as an ever-serious person. But God does laugh (Psa 2:4, 37:13). He makes others laugh too (Gen 21:6; Psa 126:2). A workaholic withdrawn from the fun and frolic of life, is dangerously destabilised. He stands on one foot. Anytime he may lose his balance and topple. Avoid sin, but enjoy the good things of life.
It is not impious to miss a weekly fasting prayer meeting to go to the seashore (without tracts!) and munch peanuts with the family. It is as scriptural as fasting prayer. When the family is watching a comedy in the TV, don't shut yourself in like a saint. Go for strolls. Narrate old memories to the children. Dream that you are hurtled to the top of the world. Gather wool and feel warm!
Have some indoor and outdoor games. Learn to eat good healthy food and once in a while indulge in your favourite ice-cream or biriyani with gusto. Let not all your reading material be religious. Have a jokebook to drive away the demons of gloom and dismay. Laugh and make people laugh. Howl with laughter when others make fun of you. Bounce a knee, tap a foot and sway an arm when you enjoy a song.
Spend time before the mirror and apply some make-up. Feel good about yourself without any guilt. If your wife feels you look better with your shirt tucked in, you better tuck in your shirt. If your husband wants you to dye your hair, don't quote Jezebel!
Make a gala day of your wedding anniversary. Don't fast on your spouse's birthday. When she snuggles, don't remind her of her appointment with the dentist. Don't mumble, "Praise the Lord," when he draws you closer.
You are never too old for fun, adventure and excitement. Have good friends who can uplift your spirit. David, despite his frenetic schedule and numerous officials, found a friend in Hushai (1 Chr 27:33). Friends do not waste your time. They lighten your heart to carry your heavy responsibilities.
"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat, drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun" (Eccl 8:15).
December is the month of unhappiness for many because they cannot spend as much as they desire. The magic word that can spark off happiness is ENOUGH. There are at least four areas where we need to pronounce an emphatic "Enough" if we are to lead a happy life.
1. PHYSICAL
Not all are blessed with beauty and strength. Most of us are average and some of us are not attractive physically. Some of us are strong, but most of us have some weakness or other. We need to beautify ourselves and build up our physique. But we should never be discouraged by our looks or defects and the consequences. God makes it up some other way. Leah was not everyone's pet as Rachel, because of her eye defect. But the Messiah chose to be born in her line. She lived longer than Rachel to enjoy the smoother years of life with her husband.
Evangelist Moody had a pot belly. Joni is a quadriplegic.
How you are is enough.
2. INTELLECTUAL
God has made each one for a unique purpose. One cannot replace the other. He has measured the intelligence to each according to His divine plan. A big surprise awaits us on the other shore. The preacher who pleases God by his sincere preaching, the sweeper who pleases God by his sincere sweeping, the doctor who operates with utter sincerity and pleases God, the housewife who cooks, cleans, washes with the fear of God are all rewarded alike.
We need to strive for academic achievement. But do not lose heart if scholarship is beyond your horizon. Do what you can with utter sincerity. Master and servant are alike before God. The king and the pawn go into the same box after the game. There is no favouritism with Him (Eph 6:5-9).
What you are is enough.
3. MATERIAL
In the New Testament Church there were more poor people than rich. "Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the Kingdom He promised those who love Him?" (Js 2:5). The poor have an easy entry into heaven (Mt 19:24). God left the Judean brothers to the mercy of the Antioch believers during the famine (Acts 11:27-29). Are you sharing their fate? Then rejoice. Because, Jesus belongs to your category. Born in a cattleshed, worked as a carpenter, He died without properties. But when He died, He was with the rich.
What you have is enough.
4. SPIRITUAL
We must eagerly desire spiritual gifts (1 Cor 14:1). But we must be satisfied with the spiritual status God has given us. Are all preachers? Are all healers? Are all writers? Are all administrators? (1 Cor 12:29). Now-a-days there is a craze for spiritual gifts, than for winning souls. Like Jonah, we would rather that God destroyed Nineveh than face the humiliation of our prophecy not coming to pass. Let God's word to Baruch be engraved in our hearts: "Do you seek great things for yourself? Do not seek" (Jer 45:5). Let us not be eager to do spiritual feats. There is nothing so big as happily doing the little things entrusted to us. When God needs a Paul, He also needs an Ananias to guide him and also a Judas to lend them his house for meeting (Acts 9).
Where you are placed is enough.
"Not many wise ... not many mighty, not many noble are called. But God has chosen the foolish ... the weak ... the base" (1 Cor 1:26,28)
Enough is enough.
December Overhauling
Self-examination to put things in order before the close of the year is the best preparation to enter the New Year. Spend a day or two exclusively for this exercise, using the following questionairre.
1. Personal Life
Did I excuse myself of any secret sin this year? Have I learnt any bad habits? Did I ever grieve the Holy Spirit by defiling my body? Did I yield my mind to evil thoughts and lustful desires? Did I waste time in questionable pastimes?
2. Devotional Life
Did I neglect the daily quiet time? Were there days when Bible reading and prayer were simply rushed through? Was I irregular in fasting? Did I harden my heart about anything God convicted me of? Was I proud?
3. Family Life
Were there instances of unfaithfulness to my spouse during this year? Did I neglect family prayer and other responsibilities? Did I fail to spend sufficient time with my children? Have I caused any relationship problem in the family? Did I disobey my parents or talk back anytime. Did I fail to help in the household cores? Was I responsible for any unpleasantness at home?
4. Social Life
Did I ever fail to wear a smile before my neighbours? Did I do tit-for-tat for any wrong done to me? Did I try to overhear the conversations of others? Was I curious to know what others were doing? Was I unconcerned about the salvation of my neighbours? Was I indifferent when someone was sick? Was my tongue loose? Did I lie or exaggerate?
5. Work
Was I irregular or casual in my work anytime this year? Did I disrespect or backbite my superiors? Did I despise or abuse my coworker? Did I ill-treat my subordinates? Did I steal anything from office or factory? Did I murmur when a hard work was assigned to me? Did I fail to set an example as a Christian? Was I jealous over another staff? Was there love of money and lust for things? Was I dishonest in business?
6. Country
Did I forget the national leaders in my prayers? Did I disrespect the rights of others in travels and public facilities? Did I cheat the government in tax-payment and the like? Did I violate any civil law? Did I exercise my right to vote? Do I keep my place clean?
7. Church
Did I neglect church? Did I reject any godly counsel? Has bitterness entered my heart against any fellow-believer? Did I criticize any servant of God rudely instead of praying for him? Did I disrespect my pastor or any minister? Did I ever manifest a better-than-you attitude? Did I play a hypocrite?
8. Ministry
Did I feel lazy to go for evangelism? Was I stingy in giving to God? Did I fail to pray regularly for the lost? Have I failed to keep my commitment to any Mission? Did I neglect to help the poor and relieve the suffering?
9. For Students
Did I copy in the exam or adopt any malpractice? Did I disrespect my teachers? Did I speak lies or twist facts? Was I rude to juniors? Was I lazy? Did I waste my parents' money? Did I damage any property of the institution? Did I silence my conscience to please my friends? Did I read or watch filth?
10. For Women
Did I covet masculinity in my dress or hairstyle or behaviour? Have I neglected home-making? Did I fail to happily accept my husband's leadership? Did I hen-peck? Did I gossip and reveal secrets? Was I dissatisfied with God's provisions?
An affirmative answer to any of these questions indicates sin. Sincere confession brings cleansing by the blood of Jesus.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
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There is no one in this world not in pursuit of happiness.
The problem is that the majority adopt selfish methods to lay hold of it.
Here in this book are listed TWELVE VIRTUES, simple and easy to understand and practice.
If sincerely embraced, you will soon be on your way to the discovery of true and lasting happiness!
A very unconventional greeting indeed! We start the year with Happy New Year greetings. Often the very next day is one of gloom. Why not make each month a happy month and end this year a truly happy one?
In a description of heaven we read, "On each side of the river, stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month" (Rev 22:2a). For God's people the earth is the ground-floor of heaven and to enjoy heaven on earth, practise a virtue each month. You'll make yourself and others happy.
To make this month a happy one, learn to SMILE! We live in a sad, sad world. Individuals are sad, families are sad, and churches are sad. Your cherubic smile can make your family smile; your family your church; and your church in turn can make the world smile.
First thing in the morning, let out an unbridled smile at your parents/spouse. It has a profound effect on you and the other. Do not demand coffee with a grouchy face before wishing Good Morning with a wink and giant smile. When the children wake up, give them a bear hug and a kiss. May be you went to bed murmuring. But sweep out the debris of yesterday. Let not the devil have you right where he wants you. The first few days may be embarassing. You'll gradually tide over it and set sail into a Happy January. Soon you'll notice that life has taken an upward swing. We have come a long way off in our married life since the decision. The paranoid attempt has turned into a passionate act. "If your Christianity doesn't work at home, it doesn't work at all. Don't export it," says Howard Hendrix.
Smile and laughter are infective. In conception Abraham gave laughter to Sarah. Sarah in turn gave back the full-fledged grin named Isaac to Abraham and said, "God has made me laugh, so that all who hear will laugh with me" (Gen 21:6). It starts with one but tickles everyone. Isn't that wonderful?
Some of us are naturally gregarious and fun-loving, while others are the moody sort. But if joy is the fruit of the Spirit, then we must learn the art. We need not always bask in happiness to laugh. God told Abraham that he would have a son. The man who could have let disappointment sour his life, doubled up in laughter (Gen 17:17). He did not believe the promise. But that didn't hold in his merry spirit. So was Sarah (18:12). Laughter and smile should be sorrow-proof.
Simple silence has ruptured amity, because smile is the language of the heart. "They don't love, that do not show their love," wrote Shakespeare. The Preacher said of laughter, "It is madness" and of mirth, "What does it accomplish?" (Eccl 2:2). But his conclusion was that there was nothing better under the sun than to be merry (Eccl 8:15). If I have to live my life over again. I'll smile and laugh more. Since I learnt this art, I can boldly say I have become a better doctor, better soulwinner, better wife and mother.
You can't smile without cheering yourself up; and that can change people's attitudes, mend people and even heal memories. Smile breaks the stark coldness between neighbours, strangers and even enemies. It is the nicest expression. It is the cheapest and easiest gift one can give to another. Why hold it?
You may have fellow students you never got to know; or coworkers you daily meet but never bothered to smile at. There may be a neighbour who often passes by your house. Friendships, just a heartbeat away, may be missed if you don't smile. Flash a big friendly grin. You will find that you become a more likeable person, nice to be around with. Smile changes the chemistry of all relationships.
People are more receptive to the gospel preached by a smiling person. Hearts open up to a smiley face. Smile has many virtues. But the best of the lot is that it cannot hurt anyone. So why fear to smile? There's an old Roman custom to throw off something old at midnight on New Year's Eve. Shall we throw out our murky moodiness and put a permanent smile-sticker to our lips and step out into the New Year? Smile gives a dash of colour to your day and a sprinkle of spices to your gruelling work. It puts light in your eyes. Are you crying that you don't have a talent? Smiling is solid-gold talent.
Finally, there is no one more charming than a smiling person. You certainly look more beautiful with a smile. So do be smiling!
Hope you had a Happy January. Please continue to smile along February and please practise to say "PLEASE" through this month. The Bible says that the words of Jesus were gracious (Lk 4:22).
An Indian brother with an Einstenian head asked a lady shopkeeper in the States to "take that doll." She gave him a stern look and said, "Gentleman, please say: Please take that doll." Any of us would have made the same mistake. We Indians are very good people but we are not generally taught to be polite. Now that the world is getting scrambled, it is time we practise politeness.
Young people sound very rude to their parents, because they rarely use the word 'please.' Learn to say, "Mummy, may I please invite my friend?" or, "Daddy, can I please go out today? Please daddy." Then they are sure to rub their eyes in surprise and consider your request. Make it a habit. Good habits are as easy to form as bad ones. There are countries, places and homes where ignorance is unforgivable. So learn good habits before your tarnish your social image.
Within the family circle politeness is the grease without which there will be a lot of screeches and scratches. If parents use "please" oftener, children will be better listeners. They also learn to be polite outside the home. Even simple statements should be mollified as, "Please pass the salt" or "Please, can you come for a minute?"
Husbands and wives should not take each other for granted. They should be as polite as when they were courting. Familiarity breeds contempt. But adding "please" to orders gives no room for such breeding. You may shout, "Can't you see I am waiting for you?" or say, "Honey, please hurry up, or we'll be late." The wife may also answer in two ways: " I am not idling here" or "Please, just a minute." It makes a lot of difference. A man or woman who continues to be polite against all odds is sure to evoke a change even in the gruffest person.
It is a magic word that gets things done. It ensures smooth working relationship. One complains about his subordinate or coworker. But often the truth is that the senior has not learnt the knack of getting things done. He orders and the subordinate stiffens. People are waking up to their identity and everyone demands respect. So do not become too big for your boots. If you are hell-bent on being a commander, you are destroying yourself. Especially ladies should be very gentle in requesting men. A man resents being ordered around by a woman, whether junior or senior. A wise leader "pleases" his followers and there is nothing stronger in this world than gentleness.
Paul would not command Philemon to accept Onesimus but wrote: "For love's sake I rather appeal" (vv 8,9). Who was Paul and who was Philemon? Philemon owed his very self to Paul (v 19). But Paul did not rise above him authoritatively but only beseeched or pleaded. What an example set before us by a great apostle!
"People are musical instruments that resonate according to who touches them," said Constancio Vigil. A "please" is enough to tug their heart strings. But if you say "please" with a smile, you may even bring out the music in people!
Silence is as strong as words, if not stronger. Silence brings as much happiness as words, if not more. If used appropriately, it can silence the most virulent talkers or initiate the dumb to speak. If it needs your body and mind to speak, it needs body, mind and will to be silent. To enjoy a Happy March, practise the art of SILENCE.
It is an art indeed because it needs a lot of self-discipline and time to achieve. Learn to keep your mouth shut when words come rolling by. Try to listen when the other person is throwing up. Train yourself to control your spirit when you are seething. Very rarely has a man felt sorry for his silence. It pays off abundantly in the end.
There was every reason for Saul to shower nasty words on the scoundrels who despised him when he was anointed king. But Saul "held his peace" (1 Sam 10:27). That is, he did not allow his peace to be disturbed. David went through the discipline of silence. His enemies' words fell on his ears but David conducted himself like a deaf man, and like a dumb man opened not his mouth. Why? "You will answer, O Lord." He decided to be silent to avoid sin. Though there were rightful things to be said, he refrained from speaking (Psa 38:12-15; 39:1-2). When he was angry, he talked only to God (vv 3,4). Even Jesus at times preferred silence to speech (Isa 53:7; Mt 26:63). Hannah was a woman who refused to give vent to her anger when her adversary provoked her relentlessly. She would simply weep and take her burden to the Lord (1 Sam 1).
What do we learn from these examples? There will be temptations for us in our various walks in the world to speak unadvisedly with our lips. But the Bible commends a quiet spirit.
We rail foul words at our children and hand over insults irrationally. Fights between husband and wife which ought to have died without fuel have burnt down families because at least one was not wise enough to shut up. Relationships which could have become stronger and stronger have crumbled to dust. Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have made husbands weep because at least one could not contain herself. Would you choose today to be that least one?
What can a small dose of determined silence do? It can save you from untold misery. It fills your heart, mind and soul with a profound peace. God will reward you sooner or later. We have missed God's blessings in an attempt to prove our cause. We have not given a chance for God to prove Himself mighty on our behalf, because we have fought our own battles (2 Chron 16:9).
There is "a time to keep silence and a time to speak" (Eccl 3:7). We need commonsense to speak. But we need an uncommon sense to discern when to use our commonsense and when to lie low. Blessed is the man who discerns the 'time to keep silence.'
"Teach me, and I will be quiet, show me where I have been wrong." "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips" (Job 6:24; Psa141:3).
Any day, any month, any year is bound to be happy if we say, "THANK YOU LORD!" for everything. For this is God's will for us in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:16).
One of the signs of the last days in ungratefulness (2 Tim 3:2). Jude calls ungrateful people grumblers and fault-finders (v 16). If we don't make a conscious effort to be thankful, we'll join this gang.
If the sun is hot we grumble. If the rain is chill we murmur. But if we thank the Lord for the sun and the rain in our lives, it will produce a rainbow. It is habitual for some to grumble and find fault with everything. It is difficult to satisfy them. They always seem to live with heartburn. But grateful people live in peaceful serenity.
If you are not satisfied with what you have, you are not going to be satisfied with what you are going to get. If you are not happy where you are, you are not going to be happy where you will be. If you get close to people who have plenty, you'll discover, after all they're empty. They live in a beautiful hell.
The Bible admonishes us to give thanks to God "always" for "everything" (Eph 5:20). Is that possible? Yes, if we realise:
1. We came naked into this world and whatever we have now is God's gracious gift to us.
2. How we will be without what we already have.
3. Material things shall pass away.
4. We are in God's hand.
5. All things work together for good to us.
6. For every legitimate grumble, we have 101 things to be infinitely thankful for.
This does not mean an idiotic acceptance of the problems that encounter us, No. It is not a passive resignation. It is learning to tide over our problems with praise in our lips. It is fighting our battles without blaming God. It is correcting someone without losing our temper. It is asking God whatever we want, with thanksgiving.
We are asked to give thanks not only for every "thing" but also for every "one." "I exhort first of all, that ... giving of thanks be made for everyone" (1 Tim 2:1). Is someone making life miserable for you? Father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife or anyone? Start thanking God for them. It will be a mount-of-transfiguration experience to you. Is someone pulling the rug from under your feet? Just say, "Thank you Lord" and the Lord will put a mattress for you to fall down and rest.
God is interested in something much more important than our comfort. He is keen on developing our character. That's why He is bent on sending us through uncomfortable paths. At the end of the road, we shall be as He is. Should we not say, "Thank you Lord" for that?
Those who know God and yet fail to give thanks to Him become fools, says Paul (Rom 1:21). Let our mouth refuse to grumble but be filled with thanks always, lest we become April Fools!
If there is something in the world which everyone loves but only a few get, something that everyone can give but just a handful give, that is APPRECIATION. If we learn to pronounce two simple words, "very good," we will see a lot more happy faces around us, earn a good number of friends and convert most of our enemies.
Every individual treasures his self-esteem. Every word of commendation builds up a person's self-worth. When one is being constantly criticised or snubbed, his self-respect is demolished. He develops an inferiority complex. When so many are in the demolition business, at least we Christians should strive to build up people with words of appreciation.
The human mind naturally focuses on flaws. We shall give it a one-month training on highlighting the plus points. People are people. No one is immune to commendations. This goes first for physical appearance. Try never to pass a negative comment on someone's looks. If one is not good looking, praise his intelligence or work or something. Tell your children how smart they look. A man who fails to appreciate his wife but keeps on complaining about her should realise that soon someone would come along and woo her with his words of praise ... and vice versa!
If you start with "very good," it is easy to go on to constructive criticism, may be at a second sitting. That way, you tell him, you are really interested in improving him. Jesus first appreciated Peter for the revelation he had received. The next moment he chided Peter for his Satanic suggestion. Peter did not quit the team, knowing his Master would pat him on the back when he did well (Mt 16:18-23).
Many followers leave a leader because all they ever receive are criticisms and corrections. Salt is good; but a dishful of salt makes one vomit. No tree grows under a banyan tree. If a leader wants those under his shadow to grow up, he must know the art of appreciation. It is difficult for a natural leader to see anything good in a follower, because the leader excels in everything. But if he can discover the germ of good in each person and blow it up, the follower is sure to become better and one day, the best. Resist the temptation to become a perfection freak, proof-reading everyone.
There is no need to feel threatened to have an excelling follower. Openly acknowledge his talents and give him enough room to develop. He will be a pillar of support for you and become a secondline leader. Saul so lost David. But Paul was not stingy with his superlatives. He habitually appreciated his helpers in his epistles.
Do not hold in a word of praise due to a person, though he be your rival or enemy. If someone praises another person to you, pass it on. If you are mistakenly praised, naively acknowledge to whom the praise is due.
Everyday when you walk out of the house, load your pocket or handbag with precious stones of, "very good, wow, nice, sweet, cute, lovely, excellent, beautiful, terrific, pretty, handsome, better, best" etc. Watch out. There are a host of people around you, bulldozed by others. Lift up everyone of them by gifting a precious stone. That may be the cheapest gift you give someone. But that will be the costliest for the recipient.
A miracle happens to the person whose self-esteem has been raised. He is a changed human being who faces the world with self-confidence. He suddenly becomes loving, gentle and cooperative. And the miracle is in your mouth!
Whether to be happy or not is in our hands. Our mistake is to expect others to keep us happy. There are many who are bent on killing our happiness by throwing insults on us. But don't let that steal away your happiness. It could be unintentional also. Learn to take such things easy. Just say, "It's all right, it's o.k., what is there, doesn't matter, NEVER MIND," and surely you'll bag happiness this month.
Joseph said, "Never mind," for all that his brothers did to him (Gen 50:18-21). Jesus was not offered water to wash His feet or anointed with oil or received with a kiss as was the custom those days. But He did not make a big fuss about it. Only when He had to rebuke His host He touched on it (Lk 7:44-46). He remarked that the pharisees expected people to greet them (Mt 23:7). That shows that Jesus did not. He took it all lightly and so people were comfortable with Him. People knew they could be free in His presence without the fear of offending Him. Yes, love is not easily offended (1 Cor 13:5).
In the early days of my marriage I used to cry my heart out for the chiding words of my mother-in-law and husband. Even after they explained I found it hard to be reconciled. Little did I realise I was destroying my own happiness. The turning point came one day when the Lord asked me, "Are you a big shot that no one should offend you?" From that day onwards I struggled to take things lightly. Only then was I able to keep cool. Then I could comprehend that it was my disorganised way of doing household things that irritated them. Only then I started working on overcoming my indisciplined ways. It was during those days that the Lord taught me humility and moulded me for ministry. God plans every minute of our present with the future in view.
I am happier today. I just tell myself. "It's all right. My husband is my friend. Why shuold I be upset for such a trivial matter?" Then I calm down. The bitterness melts away like snow on a sunny day. Sometimes I entertain the bitterness to ferment and I find myself accidentally breaking things, spilling fluids and doing a lot of such things that waste my time and energy. Then I realize my folly. If I let my mind to be disturbed, my actions were disturbed too.
Bitterness can turn into anger if not weeded out in the bud. King Uzziah became a leper not mainly because he went to burn incense to the Lord, but because he became angry with the priests who tried to stop him. If he had immeadiately humbled himself he could have escaped the ravaging disease. If we allow a bitter spirit to grow in us, the Lord will punish us. If we are tuned to the Holy Spirit we will know that the mishap was allowed by God. If we are not plugged in, His message will not reach us. If we receive the message and yet refuse to cool down, then while we are raging the leprosy will break out on our foreheads for all to see our disobedience and punishment (2 Chron 26:16-20).
Naaman felt insulted, the way Elisha treated him, without even inviting him inside his home. He went away angry. But he listened to his servants and turned away from his anger and was healed of his leprosy.
There will always be some people to hurt, reject, overlook, bypass, insult or disrespect us either intentionally or unintentionally. NEVER MIND. Take it easy. They are employees in God's school of humility for us. Throw this challenge: Can you make me angry? Let anyone try to make you angry and face utter defeat. Refuse to get angry. then this will be the most joyous month you have ever enjoyed!
One of the very difficult sentences to say is, "I AM SORRY!" Few discover the victory hidden in that defeat, the joy hidden in that sorrow. As a man matures he uses these words oftener. This does not mean he makes more and more mistakes, but that he is now able to see his mistakes and accept them. He grows into a better understanding of himself and a bettering of self.
What makes it so difficult to accept and acknowledge our mistakes or sins? Because, often it is taken as an acceptance of defeat. It is a blow on our ego. We fear the ridicule of our companions. But God sees it differently. For Him a righteous man is not a perfect man; but the one who falls down seven times, yet gets up dusting his clothes saying, "I am sorry." Everytime a man says that, he takes a giant step forward.
When we make a mistake, the smartest thing to do is to accept it and move forward. But for some prideful reason we try to cover it up. If it comes to light we usually defend ourselves. If we have the upper hand we would rather continue in the mistake than accept the correction. That is unbecoming arrogance. To become correction-proof can be the most dangerous thing that can happen to you.
Listen to the tale of woe of a young man who refused to say these golden words early, but learnt it only when his flesh and body were rotting. "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors. I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly" (Prov 5:11-14). Stern discipline and instruction are yokes indeed. But they lead you in the right direction and save you from destruction.
The frustrating fact of life is that we all make mistakes. We grow by correcting our mistakes. Our ideas keep changing. If we reach a point where no one can correct us, there our growth stops. That's why the Bible admonishes us to exhort one another "daily" (Heb 10:25). I receive some letters of criticism for my writings. I value them. They make me think and mould my thoughts. Is there someone around you with an irksome suggestion now and then to better what you are doing? Quit getting irritated and learn to accept the useful suggestions with a "thank you."
There are not many who have the courage to say, "You are wrong." One is your spouse. If you are a touch-me-not, you may be silencing you partner forever to your own disadvantage. Truly, a superfast, express to marital harmony is to say, "I am sorry," where you usually quake with anger at your spouse's hard or soft correction.
I was an ardent Sabbath observer. After our marriage once my husband sat with me for half a day and explained the Book of Galatians. Scales fell off my eyes and I was only too quick to escape on to the palace of grace from the prison of Law. I was not ashamed to tell folks, I was wrong.
As long as the clay remains pliable, there is scope for improvement. And what is this pliability? It is the ability to say, "I am sorry" and change. We are clay in God's hand, in the making. The moment we stop saying. "I am sorry" the moulding process comes to a grinding halt and we remain marred forever (Jer 18:4).
Everytime you hesitate to say, "I am sorry," remember, you are sliding down. But if you can repeat those golden words as often as necessary, that's going to revolutionize your life and make you a happy person!
SACRIFICE sounds a note of sadness; but it is that which teaches us the spelling of joy. The word is in danger of becoming obsolete. Let us take at least one step forward and upward in sacrifice, this month.
Superfluity should not displace sacrifice. In the Book of Acts we read that the believers, "sold their possessions and goods and gave to anyone as he had need ... glad hearts" (2:45,46). Note need, not greed! "No one claimed that any of this possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had" (4:32). "There was no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need" (4:34,35). Why does the Bible sound crazy when we read through this? We need to think radically to have that much faith to sacrifice, which makes us rich towards God! (Lk 12:21; Mt 13:44,45). Let us not be looking at our needs all the time. We can do without it, if we have the mind. Let us look at others' needs.
Sacrifice may also be just waiting on tables for God (Acts 6:2), investing our extra time for spreading the gospel like Stephen and Philip (Acts 7,8), helping new converts in their persecution (9:25), praying (12:5), opening the house for fellowship (16:15), accomodating a ministerial team (21:9), suffering beatings, dangers, hunger, thirst, nakedness, cold, hardwork, sleeplessness for the gospel sake (2 Cor 11:25-27), and so many more things. Our senses must be sharp to understand what, where, when and how God wants us to sacrifice.
There should be sacrifice on the part of the giver and the recipient. When believers give liberally, how sacrificial are the leaders and fulltime workers in handling funds? When Jesus' ministry grew, many supported it through their money (Lk 8:3). But till the end Jesus was the plain and simple man that he was. In the temple the widow paid her mites and the high priest lived in a palace! None of the apostles became rich though treasures were laid at their feet. Barnabas a Levite sold his field and gave the money (Acts 4:36, 37). People sacrifice and give. So ministers of the gospel should sacrificially spend.
Ministers should not plunge a three-pronged fork into the offering of God's people (1 Sam 2:13-17). "This sin of the young men was very great in the Lord's sight, for they were treating the Lord's offering with contempt." God told Samuel, "You scorn My sacrifice and offering ... fattening yourselves" (v29). He pronounced a terrible judgment on the house of Eli. Are we increasing at the cost of the church or Mission? Do we take advantage of the Mission or live to the advantage of the Mission? Are we making money out of sheep business, saying. "Praise the Lord, I am rich"? (Zech 11:5).
We have a missionary who shares the blessings he gets from his parents with other missionaries. Another returned his Christmas clothing allowance because his parents bought his Christmas clothes. Let's follow such examples. Beware of the temptation to misuse God's money because somebody else is doing it.
Sacrifice makes someone else happy. And what else is happiness except to make others happy? Let no day in August go without sacrifice and the joy of the Lord will fill you this month.
The 'I' is the centre of S-I-N which is the centre of all unhappiness. The more and more we erase 'I' in our life and vocabulary the happier and happier we grow.
The 'I' was the cause for the fall of the anointed cherub. 'I' will ascend to heaven; 'I' will raise my throne .... 'I' will sit enthroned .... 'I' will ascend above .... 'I' will make myself like the Most High. His desire was to take God's place. So God cast him down (Isa 14:13-15; Ezek 28:12-17). The desire to be like God was the doom for Eve (Gen 3:5).
Every proud 'I' that we pronounce is trying to be like God; because without Him we can do nothing (Jn 15:5). When Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, what are we? Less than nothing? No. Less than less-than-nothing.
"I will" is the pride of future. "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth" (Prov 27:1). Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that" (Js 4:15). Examine your motives. Do you want to do it for selfish reasons? Will it bring honour to you or to God?
What I heard from the mouth of a man of God often flashes in my mind: "The higher you climb the greater is the injury of a fall. Lie down on a mat. Then you can never fall down." If you are always humble God's smile is ever on you. But He resists the proud.
God alone has every reason to be proud. Stop playing God. We should never ever act like God. When a miracle was expected of Jacob he was angry and said. "Am I in the place of God?" (Gen 30:1,2). Peter said, "Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? ... It is Jesus' Name" (Acts 3:12,16). When Paul healed a lame man the crowd called him a god and wanted to garland him. But he tore his clothes and told them he was as human as they, and directed all the glory to the living God (Acts 14). When people throw garlands on you, duck down so that they will fall on God who is behind you. God struck Nebuchadnezzar when he said, "Is not this the great Babylon 'I' have built?" (Dan 4:30). These are pride of past. How many bitter lessons we learn before we learn the 'Not-I-but-Christ' philosophy of Paul (Gal 2:20).
Joseph and Daniel did not claim to possess extraordinary powers to interpret dreams. They humbly acknowledged that it was God who revealed mysteries, not they (Gen 41:16; Dan 2:26-28). When Joseph's brothers sought mercy at his hands, he wept. The scene always moves me. He said, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God?" and he reassured them and spoke kindly to them (Gen 50:18-21). Oh, how proudly we take vengeance on our brothers and sisters who harm us. Are we in the place of God? "Vengeance is mine; I will repay," says the Lord (Rom 12:19). Let us never try to do what the Lord alone can do.
"Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant, than pretend to be somebody and have no food" (Prov 12:9). That is, if you are spiritually or materially rich, don't show off, be humble. Solomon has more to say on 'I'. "Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth" (Prov 27:2). And what when you are praised? "The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives" (Prov 27:21). God knows your heart by the way you react when praise is showered on you (Prov 17:3).
"He must increase and 'I' must decrease," said the greatest of men born of women (Jn 3:30). How can 'I' decrease? It is only by constantly confessing, "I am what I am by the grace of God" (1 Cor 15:10). That keeps us humble in all tenses.
"Joy complete by .... humility" (Phil 2:2-3).
Personal achievement may bring joy. But the greatest happiness comes from PARTNERSHIP. Recently I read a quotation, "A single Christian is not a Christian." Christianity is a 'together' religion. When the 'I' goes off our lives and the 'We' comes in, the personal joy is doubled.
The friendship of David and Jonathan who stood as 'We' till death parted them, is a classic example for lessons on friendship.
1. Love him as yourself.
"Jonathan ... loved him as himself" (1 Sam 18:1). They were rightly rivals. But Jonathan was the least jealous. There was no question of, "Who is the greatest?" If Jonathan wanted to be great, he wanted David in that place. When there is a conflict between you and your school friend or wife or coworker, think, "What would I do if I were in the other's place?" The answer would solve any problem.
2. Rejoice with him.
Celebrate his victories. Jonathan was the first to award a trophy to David for his victory over Goliath. He gave David his royal robe, tunic, sword, bow and belt. A covenant was made to hold the friendship together (1 Sam 18:3,4). Seemingly small expressions of appreciation hold friendships together.
3. Grieve with him.
"Laugh and everyone laughs with you; cry and you cry alone," is a true saying. Your friend needs a shoulder to cry on, remember. Be there in his sorrows. "Jonathan ... did not eat, because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David" (1 Sam 20:34).
4. Speak for him.
If an opportunity presents when you can put in a word for your friend, to the teacher, officer or superior, do not let it slip by. It goes a long way in cementing your relationship. "Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father" (1 Sam 19:4,5).
5. Protect him.
"Jonathan ... warned him: My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard ..." (1 Sam 19:1,2). Is your friend's life, business, family, property or name or anything at stake? Do your best to protect him. Cover him up. Don't hesitate to warn him. Don't let people dig informations out of you. We don't owe the truth to everyone.
6. Don't compete with him.
Saul said to Jonathan, "As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established" (1 Sam 20:31). Jonathan knew it. But he accepted God's plan for his life. He said, "You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you" (1 Sam 23:17). What a mature attitude! If this is the kind of love we have for each other, where are conflicts?
7. Be helpful.
The crown prince says to the army officer David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you" (1 Sam 20:4). A friend in need is a friend indeed. Practical Christianity is very much lacking today. We would rather do some 'ministry' than cook or baby-sit for a sick friend. Never lose the personal touch in relationships.
8. Be open.
Hypocrisy is sister to deceit. Straightforwardness nurtures trust in the hearts of friends though it may temporarily seem to hamper it. Jonathan said his father would never kill David (1 Sam 20:2). Even if he had the least inkling, he said, he would inform David (v9). When he came to know of his father's plot he informed David. Let your friend see your heart, good or bad, then he'll stick by you.
9. Risk for him.
"Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" asked Jonathan. Saul hurled his spear to kill him (1 Sam 20:32,33). Jonathan risked his very life for David. A relationship that takes risks is worth calling friendship. Do you remember taking a risk for someone?
10. Keep God between you.
Let God be the centre of your relationship. Jonathan said, "The Lord is witness between you and me forever" (1 Sam 20:23). Do anything with the fear of God.
A month with a friend is a happy month, isn't it?
After ten months of exercise to be happy if you are still dull, maybe LAUGHTER is missing in your life. Maybe you are super-spiritual! Let laughter fill November and spill over into December. "Do not be over-righteous ... Why destroy yourself? ... It is good to grasp the one and not let go off the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes" (Eccl 7:16,18).
Many have grasped sobriety and let go off laughter, grasped ministry and let go off family fun, or grasped sagacity and let go off the joy from their lives. We must weep and we must laugh; we must mourn and we must dance; we must embrace and we must refrain. Unless we hold on to both, life will be lopsided.
We think of God as an ever-serious person. But God does laugh (Psa 2:4, 37:13). He makes others laugh too (Gen 21:6; Psa 126:2). A workaholic withdrawn from the fun and frolic of life, is dangerously destabilised. He stands on one foot. Anytime he may lose his balance and topple. Avoid sin, but enjoy the good things of life.
It is not impious to miss a weekly fasting prayer meeting to go to the seashore (without tracts!) and munch peanuts with the family. It is as scriptural as fasting prayer. When the family is watching a comedy in the TV, don't shut yourself in like a saint. Go for strolls. Narrate old memories to the children. Dream that you are hurtled to the top of the world. Gather wool and feel warm!
Have some indoor and outdoor games. Learn to eat good healthy food and once in a while indulge in your favourite ice-cream or biriyani with gusto. Let not all your reading material be religious. Have a jokebook to drive away the demons of gloom and dismay. Laugh and make people laugh. Howl with laughter when others make fun of you. Bounce a knee, tap a foot and sway an arm when you enjoy a song.
Spend time before the mirror and apply some make-up. Feel good about yourself without any guilt. If your wife feels you look better with your shirt tucked in, you better tuck in your shirt. If your husband wants you to dye your hair, don't quote Jezebel!
Make a gala day of your wedding anniversary. Don't fast on your spouse's birthday. When she snuggles, don't remind her of her appointment with the dentist. Don't mumble, "Praise the Lord," when he draws you closer.
You are never too old for fun, adventure and excitement. Have good friends who can uplift your spirit. David, despite his frenetic schedule and numerous officials, found a friend in Hushai (1 Chr 27:33). Friends do not waste your time. They lighten your heart to carry your heavy responsibilities.
"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat, drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun" (Eccl 8:15).
December is the month of unhappiness for many because they cannot spend as much as they desire. The magic word that can spark off happiness is ENOUGH. There are at least four areas where we need to pronounce an emphatic "Enough" if we are to lead a happy life.
1. PHYSICAL
Not all are blessed with beauty and strength. Most of us are average and some of us are not attractive physically. Some of us are strong, but most of us have some weakness or other. We need to beautify ourselves and build up our physique. But we should never be discouraged by our looks or defects and the consequences. God makes it up some other way. Leah was not everyone's pet as Rachel, because of her eye defect. But the Messiah chose to be born in her line. She lived longer than Rachel to enjoy the smoother years of life with her husband.
Evangelist Moody had a pot belly. Joni is a quadriplegic.
How you are is enough.
2. INTELLECTUAL
God has made each one for a unique purpose. One cannot replace the other. He has measured the intelligence to each according to His divine plan. A big surprise awaits us on the other shore. The preacher who pleases God by his sincere preaching, the sweeper who pleases God by his sincere sweeping, the doctor who operates with utter sincerity and pleases God, the housewife who cooks, cleans, washes with the fear of God are all rewarded alike.
We need to strive for academic achievement. But do not lose heart if scholarship is beyond your horizon. Do what you can with utter sincerity. Master and servant are alike before God. The king and the pawn go into the same box after the game. There is no favouritism with Him (Eph 6:5-9).
What you are is enough.
3. MATERIAL
In the New Testament Church there were more poor people than rich. "Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the Kingdom He promised those who love Him?" (Js 2:5). The poor have an easy entry into heaven (Mt 19:24). God left the Judean brothers to the mercy of the Antioch believers during the famine (Acts 11:27-29). Are you sharing their fate? Then rejoice. Because, Jesus belongs to your category. Born in a cattleshed, worked as a carpenter, He died without properties. But when He died, He was with the rich.
What you have is enough.
4. SPIRITUAL
We must eagerly desire spiritual gifts (1 Cor 14:1). But we must be satisfied with the spiritual status God has given us. Are all preachers? Are all healers? Are all writers? Are all administrators? (1 Cor 12:29). Now-a-days there is a craze for spiritual gifts, than for winning souls. Like Jonah, we would rather that God destroyed Nineveh than face the humiliation of our prophecy not coming to pass. Let God's word to Baruch be engraved in our hearts: "Do you seek great things for yourself? Do not seek" (Jer 45:5). Let us not be eager to do spiritual feats. There is nothing so big as happily doing the little things entrusted to us. When God needs a Paul, He also needs an Ananias to guide him and also a Judas to lend them his house for meeting (Acts 9).
Where you are placed is enough.
"Not many wise ... not many mighty, not many noble are called. But God has chosen the foolish ... the weak ... the base" (1 Cor 1:26,28)
Enough is enough.
December Overhauling
Self-examination to put things in order before the close of the year is the best preparation to enter the New Year. Spend a day or two exclusively for this exercise, using the following questionairre.
1. Personal Life
Did I excuse myself of any secret sin this year? Have I learnt any bad habits? Did I ever grieve the Holy Spirit by defiling my body? Did I yield my mind to evil thoughts and lustful desires? Did I waste time in questionable pastimes?
2. Devotional Life
Did I neglect the daily quiet time? Were there days when Bible reading and prayer were simply rushed through? Was I irregular in fasting? Did I harden my heart about anything God convicted me of? Was I proud?
3. Family Life
Were there instances of unfaithfulness to my spouse during this year? Did I neglect family prayer and other responsibilities? Did I fail to spend sufficient time with my children? Have I caused any relationship problem in the family? Did I disobey my parents or talk back anytime. Did I fail to help in the household cores? Was I responsible for any unpleasantness at home?
4. Social Life
Did I ever fail to wear a smile before my neighbours? Did I do tit-for-tat for any wrong done to me? Did I try to overhear the conversations of others? Was I curious to know what others were doing? Was I unconcerned about the salvation of my neighbours? Was I indifferent when someone was sick? Was my tongue loose? Did I lie or exaggerate?
5. Work
Was I irregular or casual in my work anytime this year? Did I disrespect or backbite my superiors? Did I despise or abuse my coworker? Did I ill-treat my subordinates? Did I steal anything from office or factory? Did I murmur when a hard work was assigned to me? Did I fail to set an example as a Christian? Was I jealous over another staff? Was there love of money and lust for things? Was I dishonest in business?
6. Country
Did I forget the national leaders in my prayers? Did I disrespect the rights of others in travels and public facilities? Did I cheat the government in tax-payment and the like? Did I violate any civil law? Did I exercise my right to vote? Do I keep my place clean?
7. Church
Did I neglect church? Did I reject any godly counsel? Has bitterness entered my heart against any fellow-believer? Did I criticize any servant of God rudely instead of praying for him? Did I disrespect my pastor or any minister? Did I ever manifest a better-than-you attitude? Did I play a hypocrite?
8. Ministry
Did I feel lazy to go for evangelism? Was I stingy in giving to God? Did I fail to pray regularly for the lost? Have I failed to keep my commitment to any Mission? Did I neglect to help the poor and relieve the suffering?
9. For Students
Did I copy in the exam or adopt any malpractice? Did I disrespect my teachers? Did I speak lies or twist facts? Was I rude to juniors? Was I lazy? Did I waste my parents' money? Did I damage any property of the institution? Did I silence my conscience to please my friends? Did I read or watch filth?
10. For Women
Did I covet masculinity in my dress or hairstyle or behaviour? Have I neglected home-making? Did I fail to happily accept my husband's leadership? Did I hen-peck? Did I gossip and reveal secrets? Was I dissatisfied with God's provisions?
An affirmative answer to any of these questions indicates sin. Sincere confession brings cleansing by the blood of Jesus.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
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