Relationship Quiz
Take this quiz and find out if your relationship skill passes the test. Certain hypothetical situations are described below. Imagine yourself in the situation, answer the following questions truthfully and rate yourself according to the marks given below.
Each question carries 5 marks totaling 100. Do not tick the right answer. Tick what you would honestly do.
1. Your neighbour has a heart attack in the night and requests an emergency loan of Rs. 10,000/- and you can spare the money. Do you—
a) Excuse yourself and express your inability politely?
b) Give the loan?
c) Pay a smaller amount and be done with it?
2. You stay in someone’s house and observe the mess all around and the unruly children. Do you—
a) Clean up the house and entertain the children?
b) Advise your host?
c) Put up quietly and move out quickly?
3. You are insulted by your friend before others. Do you—
a) Break off friendship quietly?
b) Get upset, cry and insult back?
c) Continue friendship ignoring the insult, and later
confront gently?
4. A someone does very many things against you. You happen to see him on the road involved in a minor accident. Do you—
a) Pretend as if you didn’t see him?
b) Stop and help him?
c) Stand with the crowd and watch the fun thinking,
‘He deserves it’ ?
5. A young person joins your team. He/she likes to be modern but decent. The hairstyle, dress and behaviour are ultra modern. Work wise there is excellence. Do you—
a) Appreciate the modern taste and commend the work?
b) Advise to give up the latest fashion?
c) Talk to others about the person negatively?
6. Your mistake is pointed out by your junior. Do you—
He who cannot relate smoothy to his neighbour will lose sight of God.
a) Tell him to mind his business?
b) Ignore him?
c) Thank him, apologize and correct yourself?
7. You meet someone after many years. Do you—
a) Comment, “Oh, you have put on so much weight”
or “You have grown so old” or “Dyeing doesn’t mask your age?”
b) Query, “How are you?”
c) Remark, “You look great?”
8. You are angry with someone. Do you—
a) Shout, point your finger, accuse?
b) Keep quiet and sulk?
c) Confront quietly, controlling your emotions?
9. Your brother influences your parents and gets a lion’s share of the property leaving less to you. Do you—
a) Talk to your parents about it?
b) Go to the Court?
c) Give up what rightfully belongs to you?
10. Someone regularly abuses you verbally. Do you—
a) Weep, beg, plead?
b) Give tit for tat?
c) Quietly go about your work ignoring the abuses
or firmly tell him/her to stop it?
11. Your spouse is living in sin and tells you to keep quiet. Do you—
a) Keep quiet?
b) Keep fighting over it?
c) Do something active and constructive to get your spouse out of it?
12. Your son/daughter marries against your wishes. Do you—
a) Abuse, threaten, weep?
b) Refuse any relationship with them?
c) Accept the person and show love?
13. Your parents do not express their love for you and you feel unloved. Do you—
a) Weep alone?
b) Accuse them?
c) Talk to them about your need for their expressive love and express your love for them?
14. Your believer spouse wants to occasionally watch a late-night movie. Do you—
a) Object and advise?
b) Sit for spouse’s sake, grit your teeth and bear?
c) Give company and enjoy the movie?
15. Someone cracks a joke at your expense. Do you—
a) Get upset, weep or shout?
b) Refuse to laugh?
c) Laugh and joke about yourself?
16. You are staying in a house and you notice the daughter-in-law insulting the mother-in-law. Do you—
a) Encourage the mother-in-law?
b) Advise the daughter-in-law?
c) Keep quiet?
17. As you are calling someone secretly on the mobile your parent/spouse enters the room and casually asks who you were calling. Do you—
a) Shout that there is no need to tell and you do not have privacy?
b) Tell the truth?
c) Lie and then erase the call?
18. Your coworker is promoted for his hard work and talents. Do you—
a) Congratulate him heartily?
b) Ignore him?
c) Find fault with his work and put him down?
19. Two friends arrive at your home unexpectedly, tired from a journey. They refuse to burden you. Do you—
a) Accept their refusal and send them out to eat?
b) Serve them what you have and grumble behind their back?
c) Prepare a quick meal and serve them joyfully?
20. A neighbour gossips about another neighbour. Do you—
a) Stop him by refusing to respond?
b) Gossip with him?
c) Take the news to others?
1. a - 0 11. a - 3
b - 5 b - 0
c - 3 c - 5
2. a - 5 12. a - 0
b - 0 b - 3
c - 3 c - 5
3. a - 3 13. a - 3
b - 0 b - 0
c - 5 c - 5
4. a - 3 14. a - 0
b - 5 b - 3
c - 0 c - 5
5. a - 5 15. a - 0
b - 3 b - 3
c - 0 c - 5
6. a - 0 16. a - 3
b - 3 b - 5
c - 5 c - 0
7. a - 0 17. a - 3
b - 3 b - 5
c - 5 c - 0
8. a - 0 18. a - 5
b - 3 b - 3
c - 5 c - 0
9. a - 3 19. a - 0
b - 0 b - 3
c - 5 c - 5
10. a - 0 20. a - 5
b - 3 b - 3
c - 5 c - 0
My ratings may not be perfect. But it gives a general idea about the best way to relate. Your suggestions to improve the quiz welcome.
PRINCIPLES WE LEARN
1. Supporting someone in their hour of need builds bridges. (Bear one another’s burdens and be kind to one another Gal 6:2; 1 Pet 3:8; Eph 4:32).
2. Put yourself in the host’s shoe. He/she may be weak, sick, over worked, untrained in homemaking, depressed. b) c) will only strain the relationship. a) helps to relax and trust (Serve one another Gal 5:13; Jn 13:14).
3. Ignoring insults is the best way to maintain lasting friendships (Forgive one another Eph 4:32; Col 3:13; Eph 4:2).
4. If you help those who help you, how are you better than a thief? Doing good for evil gives you the winning edge (Love one another Jn 13:34; 1 Thess 3:12; Mt 5:44).
5. Being modern is not sin, provided the person is modest. Give allowance to age. Don’t expect others to be like you. (Honor one another Rom 12:10; 15:7).
6. Humility is an important factor in relationship (Submit to, and consider one another Eph 5:21; 1 Pet 5:5; Heb 10:24).
7. There is something called self-respect in each person. Assault on that, even subtely damages relationship. Pampering it builts relationship. The person loves your presence (Provoke not one another 1 Cor 4:6; Gal 5:26).
8. Controlling of emotions is a discipline to be learned by anyone who wants to excel in relationship. Direct quiet confrontations are better to clear misunderstandings (Bite and devour not one another Gal 5:15).
9. Relationship demands sacrifice (Peace with one another Mk 9:50; Gen 26:18-31).
10. Some can be really mean. Lack of assertiveness encourages the meanie and disintegrates any existing relationship. Assertiveness makes him/ her respect you (Members of one another Eph 4:23-25; Rom 12:3-5).
11. Sin is a serious matter. If you truly love the other person put your love in action to get the partner out. Love must be tough (Care for one another 1 Cor 12:25).
12. Be willing to change with the flow of time. Otherwise you’ll be banging your head against a wall (Receive one another Rom 15:7).
13. Blind spots in the other person must be exposed gently. Everybody has blind spots. May be the other person does not know that he/she is hurting you (Hate not one another Tit 3:3).
14. Better to bend than to break. Do not be rigid in your expectations from others (Judge not one another Rom 14:13).
15. A sensitive person is hard to live with. Learn to laugh at yourself and life will be a continuous comedy, easier to live (Grumble not against one another Js 5:9).
16. Wrong, allowed to continue unchecked, damages everyone around. Though difficult, in the longer run ultimately rubbing will be lessened (Admonish one another Heb 3:13; 10:25; Rom15:14).
17. Lying damages relationship by destroying trust. Truth is painful to practice but is the foundation of all relationships and is the balm for souring relationships (Lie not to one another Lev 19:11; Col 3:9; 1 Jn 1:7; Eph 4:25).
18. Envy is enemy of good relationship. Praising God for what you have and praising God for what others have, help you overcome jealousy. (Envy not one another Gal 5:26; 1 Sam 18:9).
19. These are rare opportunities which should not be missed. Other works can wait. After the friends leave, you will not regret providing a meal for them rather feel fulfilled (Hospitality to one another 1 Pet 4:9).
20. Backbiting and gossip have crushed countless friendships. Taming of the tongue goes a long way in tending friendships (Do not speak evil of one another Js 4:11).
THINGS TO REMEMBER
1. Give allowance to time.
Times are changing. So are dresses, behaviour, language, styles, expressions, outlook, methods, foods, habits etc. If you are above 60 and expect a 16 year old to fall in line with you or vice–versa you can expect trouble shooting. Take for eg. Children choosing their partners. If we don’t accept the time change we break ourselves.
2. Give allowance to age.
When you have trouble understanding an younger person try to think of how you were at that age. May be you were the same as he at that age and now you have grown up. Give him time and space instead of judging or condemning and he is sure to grow up. I scolded my 84 year old mother in wheel chair for making the servant sit in a chair in the front row by her side in a function along with chief guests. She cried and said, “I am so helpless. I need her.” Though I apologised later, I am yet to forgive myself for not understanding her.
3. Give allowance to background.
The way you were brought up is very different from the way he was brought up. His circumstances were different when he grew up, from yours. The teaching he received, the love expressed, the neighbourhood influences etc., were all different. One from an abusive family may himself be abusive. Behaviour of an orphan may be intriguing. So certain things may upset your relationship. If you bring to mind his different background you’ll realize he is not directly responsible for upsetting you.
4. Give allowance to IQ
You cannot judge an uneducated villager and a city bred engineer on the same scale. Somebody called our servant, “fool.” My uncle immediately responded, “That’s why he is a servant.” A certain percentage of the way someone relates to you can be explained away by the endowment of I.Q. he/she received from God.
5. Give allowance to situation.
Why people behave in a certain way is often related to the situation. Wives by husbands and juniors by seniors are compelled to write certain letters, sign etc. Husbands may behave differently in their wives’presence and vice-versa. Problems in office may cause your friend to snap at you. An usually friendly person may be going through depression. A mother struggling with three little children or parents preparing children for the ensuing examination may not welcome you with open arms if you arrive without appointment.
6. Give allowance to maturity.
You may be a spiritually mature person. Others who are recent converts, spiritually less mature may make lot of relationship blunders. “Be patient; God has not finished with me yet” is a good slogan to remember.
7. Give allowance to personality.
Each person’s temperament is decided by the genes. Some are always bubbling laughing, joking.Some are serious and quiet. Some are quick and fast, others sluggish. Some are extremely sensitive getting angry for no reason at all. Each persons psychological make up is different. They may try hard to change but basically they fit in one particular mould. If you have this in mind you’ll know why so and so behaves is such and such a way. It is also good to remember that the persons closest to our hearts are usually of the exact opposite temperament.
Finally remember, if you are good to others, others are good to you. So stop working on others and start working on yourself. That will lead you to excel in relationship skills.
A stagnating Christian is like the hare that slept off. Though you are a tortoise you must be constantly moving forward to take hold of God.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
Relationship Quiz
Take this quiz and find out if your relationship skill passes the test. Certain hypothetical situations are described below. Imagine yourself in the situation, answer the following questions truthfully and rate yourself according to the marks given below.
Each question carries 5 marks totaling 100. Do not tick the right answer. Tick what you would honestly do.
1. Your neighbour has a heart attack in the night and requests an emergency loan of Rs. 10,000/- and you can spare the money. Do you—
a) Excuse yourself and express your inability politely?
b) Give the loan?
c) Pay a smaller amount and be done with it?
2. You stay in someone’s house and observe the mess all around and the unruly children. Do you—
a) Clean up the house and entertain the children?
b) Advise your host?
c) Put up quietly and move out quickly?
3. You are insulted by your friend before others. Do you—
a) Break off friendship quietly?
b) Get upset, cry and insult back?
c) Continue friendship ignoring the insult, and later
confront gently?
4. A someone does very many things against you. You happen to see him on the road involved in a minor accident. Do you—
a) Pretend as if you didn’t see him?
b) Stop and help him?
c) Stand with the crowd and watch the fun thinking,
‘He deserves it’ ?
5. A young person joins your team. He/she likes to be modern but decent. The hairstyle, dress and behaviour are ultra modern. Work wise there is excellence. Do you—
a) Appreciate the modern taste and commend the work?
b) Advise to give up the latest fashion?
c) Talk to others about the person negatively?
6. Your mistake is pointed out by your junior. Do you—
He who cannot relate smoothy to his neighbour will lose sight of God.
a) Tell him to mind his business?
b) Ignore him?
c) Thank him, apologize and correct yourself?
7. You meet someone after many years. Do you—
a) Comment, “Oh, you have put on so much weight”
or “You have grown so old” or “Dyeing doesn’t mask your age?”
b) Query, “How are you?”
c) Remark, “You look great?”
8. You are angry with someone. Do you—
a) Shout, point your finger, accuse?
b) Keep quiet and sulk?
c) Confront quietly, controlling your emotions?
9. Your brother influences your parents and gets a lion’s share of the property leaving less to you. Do you—
a) Talk to your parents about it?
b) Go to the Court?
c) Give up what rightfully belongs to you?
10. Someone regularly abuses you verbally. Do you—
a) Weep, beg, plead?
b) Give tit for tat?
c) Quietly go about your work ignoring the abuses
or firmly tell him/her to stop it?
11. Your spouse is living in sin and tells you to keep quiet. Do you—
a) Keep quiet?
b) Keep fighting over it?
c) Do something active and constructive to get your spouse out of it?
12. Your son/daughter marries against your wishes. Do you—
a) Abuse, threaten, weep?
b) Refuse any relationship with them?
c) Accept the person and show love?
13. Your parents do not express their love for you and you feel unloved. Do you—
a) Weep alone?
b) Accuse them?
c) Talk to them about your need for their expressive love and express your love for them?
14. Your believer spouse wants to occasionally watch a late-night movie. Do you—
a) Object and advise?
b) Sit for spouse’s sake, grit your teeth and bear?
c) Give company and enjoy the movie?
15. Someone cracks a joke at your expense. Do you—
a) Get upset, weep or shout?
b) Refuse to laugh?
c) Laugh and joke about yourself?
16. You are staying in a house and you notice the daughter-in-law insulting the mother-in-law. Do you—
a) Encourage the mother-in-law?
b) Advise the daughter-in-law?
c) Keep quiet?
17. As you are calling someone secretly on the mobile your parent/spouse enters the room and casually asks who you were calling. Do you—
a) Shout that there is no need to tell and you do not have privacy?
b) Tell the truth?
c) Lie and then erase the call?
18. Your coworker is promoted for his hard work and talents. Do you—
a) Congratulate him heartily?
b) Ignore him?
c) Find fault with his work and put him down?
19. Two friends arrive at your home unexpectedly, tired from a journey. They refuse to burden you. Do you—
a) Accept their refusal and send them out to eat?
b) Serve them what you have and grumble behind their back?
c) Prepare a quick meal and serve them joyfully?
20. A neighbour gossips about another neighbour. Do you—
a) Stop him by refusing to respond?
b) Gossip with him?
c) Take the news to others?
1. a - 0 11. a - 3
b - 5 b - 0
c - 3 c - 5
2. a - 5 12. a - 0
b - 0 b - 3
c - 3 c - 5
3. a - 3 13. a - 3
b - 0 b - 0
c - 5 c - 5
4. a - 3 14. a - 0
b - 5 b - 3
c - 0 c - 5
5. a - 5 15. a - 0
b - 3 b - 3
c - 0 c - 5
6. a - 0 16. a - 3
b - 3 b - 5
c - 5 c - 0
7. a - 0 17. a - 3
b - 3 b - 5
c - 5 c - 0
8. a - 0 18. a - 5
b - 3 b - 3
c - 5 c - 0
9. a - 3 19. a - 0
b - 0 b - 3
c - 5 c - 5
10. a - 0 20. a - 5
b - 3 b - 3
c - 5 c - 0
My ratings may not be perfect. But it gives a general idea about the best way to relate. Your suggestions to improve the quiz welcome.
PRINCIPLES WE LEARN
1. Supporting someone in their hour of need builds bridges. (Bear one another’s burdens and be kind to one another Gal 6:2; 1 Pet 3:8; Eph 4:32).
2. Put yourself in the host’s shoe. He/she may be weak, sick, over worked, untrained in homemaking, depressed. b) c) will only strain the relationship. a) helps to relax and trust (Serve one another Gal 5:13; Jn 13:14).
3. Ignoring insults is the best way to maintain lasting friendships (Forgive one another Eph 4:32; Col 3:13; Eph 4:2).
4. If you help those who help you, how are you better than a thief? Doing good for evil gives you the winning edge (Love one another Jn 13:34; 1 Thess 3:12; Mt 5:44).
5. Being modern is not sin, provided the person is modest. Give allowance to age. Don’t expect others to be like you. (Honor one another Rom 12:10; 15:7).
6. Humility is an important factor in relationship (Submit to, and consider one another Eph 5:21; 1 Pet 5:5; Heb 10:24).
7. There is something called self-respect in each person. Assault on that, even subtely damages relationship. Pampering it builts relationship. The person loves your presence (Provoke not one another 1 Cor 4:6; Gal 5:26).
8. Controlling of emotions is a discipline to be learned by anyone who wants to excel in relationship. Direct quiet confrontations are better to clear misunderstandings (Bite and devour not one another Gal 5:15).
9. Relationship demands sacrifice (Peace with one another Mk 9:50; Gen 26:18-31).
10. Some can be really mean. Lack of assertiveness encourages the meanie and disintegrates any existing relationship. Assertiveness makes him/ her respect you (Members of one another Eph 4:23-25; Rom 12:3-5).
11. Sin is a serious matter. If you truly love the other person put your love in action to get the partner out. Love must be tough (Care for one another 1 Cor 12:25).
12. Be willing to change with the flow of time. Otherwise you’ll be banging your head against a wall (Receive one another Rom 15:7).
13. Blind spots in the other person must be exposed gently. Everybody has blind spots. May be the other person does not know that he/she is hurting you (Hate not one another Tit 3:3).
14. Better to bend than to break. Do not be rigid in your expectations from others (Judge not one another Rom 14:13).
15. A sensitive person is hard to live with. Learn to laugh at yourself and life will be a continuous comedy, easier to live (Grumble not against one another Js 5:9).
16. Wrong, allowed to continue unchecked, damages everyone around. Though difficult, in the longer run ultimately rubbing will be lessened (Admonish one another Heb 3:13; 10:25; Rom15:14).
17. Lying damages relationship by destroying trust. Truth is painful to practice but is the foundation of all relationships and is the balm for souring relationships (Lie not to one another Lev 19:11; Col 3:9; 1 Jn 1:7; Eph 4:25).
18. Envy is enemy of good relationship. Praising God for what you have and praising God for what others have, help you overcome jealousy. (Envy not one another Gal 5:26; 1 Sam 18:9).
19. These are rare opportunities which should not be missed. Other works can wait. After the friends leave, you will not regret providing a meal for them rather feel fulfilled (Hospitality to one another 1 Pet 4:9).
20. Backbiting and gossip have crushed countless friendships. Taming of the tongue goes a long way in tending friendships (Do not speak evil of one another Js 4:11).
THINGS TO REMEMBER
1. Give allowance to time.
Times are changing. So are dresses, behaviour, language, styles, expressions, outlook, methods, foods, habits etc. If you are above 60 and expect a 16 year old to fall in line with you or vice–versa you can expect trouble shooting. Take for eg. Children choosing their partners. If we don’t accept the time change we break ourselves.
2. Give allowance to age.
When you have trouble understanding an younger person try to think of how you were at that age. May be you were the same as he at that age and now you have grown up. Give him time and space instead of judging or condemning and he is sure to grow up. I scolded my 84 year old mother in wheel chair for making the servant sit in a chair in the front row by her side in a function along with chief guests. She cried and said, “I am so helpless. I need her.” Though I apologised later, I am yet to forgive myself for not understanding her.
3. Give allowance to background.
The way you were brought up is very different from the way he was brought up. His circumstances were different when he grew up, from yours. The teaching he received, the love expressed, the neighbourhood influences etc., were all different. One from an abusive family may himself be abusive. Behaviour of an orphan may be intriguing. So certain things may upset your relationship. If you bring to mind his different background you’ll realize he is not directly responsible for upsetting you.
4. Give allowance to IQ
You cannot judge an uneducated villager and a city bred engineer on the same scale. Somebody called our servant, “fool.” My uncle immediately responded, “That’s why he is a servant.” A certain percentage of the way someone relates to you can be explained away by the endowment of I.Q. he/she received from God.
5. Give allowance to situation.
Why people behave in a certain way is often related to the situation. Wives by husbands and juniors by seniors are compelled to write certain letters, sign etc. Husbands may behave differently in their wives’presence and vice-versa. Problems in office may cause your friend to snap at you. An usually friendly person may be going through depression. A mother struggling with three little children or parents preparing children for the ensuing examination may not welcome you with open arms if you arrive without appointment.
6. Give allowance to maturity.
You may be a spiritually mature person. Others who are recent converts, spiritually less mature may make lot of relationship blunders. “Be patient; God has not finished with me yet” is a good slogan to remember.
7. Give allowance to personality.
Each person’s temperament is decided by the genes. Some are always bubbling laughing, joking.Some are serious and quiet. Some are quick and fast, others sluggish. Some are extremely sensitive getting angry for no reason at all. Each persons psychological make up is different. They may try hard to change but basically they fit in one particular mould. If you have this in mind you’ll know why so and so behaves is such and such a way. It is also good to remember that the persons closest to our hearts are usually of the exact opposite temperament.
Finally remember, if you are good to others, others are good to you. So stop working on others and start working on yourself. That will lead you to excel in relationship skills.
A stagnating Christian is like the hare that slept off. Though you are a tortoise you must be constantly moving forward to take hold of God.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
