Oh no, I can never truly be worthy of Jesus! Yet, it is my sense of unworthiness that makes me appreciate His grace all the more. Let's explore what Jesus meant by becoming worthy of Him. When we consider purchasing something, we evaluate if it is worth the cost. Similarly, our Lord God is worthy to receive glory, honour, and praise because He created all things (Rev 4:11). To demonstrate our worth, we often need to pass exams. So, what makes us worthy of Jesus? Will my Lord Jesus see me as a valuable treasure? He said, "Whoever does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me" (Matt 10:38). If you don’t go all the way with Jesus, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve Him. It is indeed stern stuff. To prove our worth, we need to pass four papers

Paper 1 - DESIRE

Unless one has a deep longing to become a disciple of Jesus, He will never pass the exam. Many 'long' but their longing is not strong enough to fight the currents of longing for the world and its lusts. They swim close to Jesus but are pulled away by the swirling currents of worldly passions. Talk about the cross makes them squirm in their seats. The foreign craze is the bait they swallow. Fortune-hunting Christians fall for them. Now even full-time servants of God, “who think godliness is a means to financial gain,” shrink away from cross-bearing (1 Tim 6:5). Many have turned to business people because they changed tracks midstream. They shout down anyone who thinks differently. They rip asunder the very grass roots of Christianity. These are sobering facts, but it is even more worrying when fellow preachers greet their acts with silence. As long as we are silenced by those whose voices are louder than ours, we are not truly standing for our conviction. We need to gradually change people's thinking through our outspoken dedication. This highlights the importance of having genuinely committed individuals leading the way.

Jesus said to His disciples, "Whoever WANTS to be My disciple must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me" (Matt 16:24). Weren't they already His disciples? Hadn't they already denied themselves? Hadn't they left everything to follow Him? Yet, they had not yet carried the cross, and Jesus was warning them about this. Did they truly want to be His disciples despite the cross? They had to pass this test.

At one point Jesus asked them, "Will you also go away?" (John 6:67). When Jesus spoke about His flesh as food and His blood as drink, 'many' of His 'disciples' turned back and no longer 'followed' Him (vv 53-66). They were too befuddled to make any life-changing decisions. But for the eleven it was an opportunity to refocus their attention on this abiding truth - and act on it jubilantly. Let us not run along with the changing tempo of the times. Peter was even willing to die for Him and as per history, he proved it. This is the kind of tenacious longing to be His disciple that qualifies us to be worthy of Him.

Paper 2 - SELF-DENIAL

Does the talk about self-denial make you turn and run in the opposite direction? Most of us rebuff the idea of imitating Jesus or His apostles. They were full-timers. What do common folk who have a family, hold a job and desire to lead a life of self-denial do? For that, we should look into the lives of such people and learn. It was such people who came to John for counsel. John's advice was sane and sensible. He did not ask them to repent and leave everything, but he showed them the best way to live, to make conscious choices about the effect they should have on the world.

First, he talked to the people about simple and sacrificial living regarding clothes and gadgets, two areas we tend to splurge. Not many wise, mighty, and noble have been called, but we go on trying to be wise, mighty, and noble (1 Cor 1:26). Avoid unscheduled purchases and resist human buyology. It is not a must that we buy new clothes for every special occasion. Buy for missionaries or anyone who cannot afford new clothes for celebrations.

Don't throw away money without counting the cost. Be prudent. We frequently spend our money before it is earned and go into debt. We cannot be prodigals when many are starving in our country and neighborhood. Feed the poor and hungry. At the end of the day, what matters most is the satisfaction of helping a needy person. India ranks 94 out of 107 countries on the Global Hunger Index 2020 - lower than Nepal, Bangladesh, and Pakistan!

To the tax collectors, he said, never to demand bribes. He encouraged them to be honest in their jobs. He advised the soldiers to be kind to everyone and be happy with their salaries. Self-denial is to say 'NO' to the craving for more and more. What Zacchaeus did after he met Jesus was exactly what John wanted all the people to do. He promised to give half his wealth to the poor and return four-fold all ill[1]gotten wealth. But if God calls you specifically like the rich man, then you must obey Him (Matt 19:21). Change your perspective on the cross, and your world changes forever.

Mary and Joseph showed their total dedication in bringing up the Son of God. Lydia was lavish in her hospitality. Gaius supported missionaries by giving them lodging and caring for their needs. Mary, Martha and Lazarus led a quiet life of dedication and doing their best for Jesus, never allowing themselves to be bogged down by fleshly desires. Jesus did not ask these people to quit their way of life and come after Him. They were leading their own life, serving God to their utmost capacity with utmost dedication. This needs a little restructuring of our entire lives. Ananias and Sapphira cheated God. At the heart of the issue lies the cross. They did not want to sacrifice and suffer. This is the self- gratification that Jesus condemned. The lesson for us does not need to be spelt out.

Paper 3 - TAKING UP THE CROSS

God is not going to force the cross upon our shoulders and drive us to follow Him. We must choose to take it up willingly. God did not demand that Ida Scudder remain celibate and serve Him, yet the seeds she planted have yielded an incredible harvest. No one compelled David Livingstone to venture into Africa, face suffering, and ultimately die there despite the challenges. Who instructed Paul to be crucified with Christ? (Gal 2:20). It was a voluntary act that made a significant impact in the religious world. They all had clear objectives in life. When we "want" to be disciples, we "choose" to take up the cross.

How many are still hesitating to bend down and lift 'his' cross to his shoulder? Heart of hearts we know the cross we have to carry but are reluctant. We want an easy religion, a comfortable way of serving God. About Jesus, we read, "He" made Himself nothing..."He" humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! (Phil 2:7, 8). He took up His cross willingly, and voluntarily, knowing what it involved. Jesus knew He would be betrayed, killed (Matt 17:22, 23), condemned to death, delivered to the Gentiles to mock and to scourge and to crucify (20:18, 19), deserted (26:31), treated with contempt ( Mark 9:12), spit upon (10:34), rejected by elders and chief priests and scribes (Luke 9:22), buried (John 12:7). He knew beforehand all this would befall Him, and yet willingly walked into them. Of His life, Jesus said, "I lay it down Myself" (John 10:18). No one forced Him to sacrifice His life. He suffered when He was tempted (Heb 2:18). It was a voluntary act. Can we commit ourselves to such a life of cross-bearing? Let us learn His ways and imbibe His spirit. There is no future for Christianity without lifting the cross.

Paper 4 - FOLLOWING JESUS

The quintessence of cross-bearing is following Jesus. Some think it is quixotic. Multitudes follow Jesus, but to take up one's cross and follow has become rare. In the past few years, the cross of Christ that was digging into the shoulders of the Apostles has shifted 180° to dangle in our chains. Christianity as known in the days of the Apostles is "anathema" to us today. We are comfortable, climbing up, prospering. We have no thought of taking up our cross and going after Jesus. Even if we do, we do it quibbling. This attitude has left Christianity in tatters.

"Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men," was the call. So, we know where we will end up if we follow Jesus. Jesus told Peter, “Follow Me," at the beginning of His ministry (Matt 4:19), and reminded him, "Follow Me," at the end of His earthly ministry (John 21:19).A teacher of the Law came to Him and said, "Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head" (Matt 8: 19, 20). Another 'disciple' said to Him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him “Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead" (vv 21, 22).Yet another was willing to follow Jesus, but first wanted to go back and bid bye to his family. Jesus replied, "No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God" as if to underscore His point (Luke 9:61,62). What these three decided we do not know, but we know that, "A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still." What takes priority in our lives? Is it following Jesus or our agenda? Are you anti about the cross? If not why dilly-dally? Following Christ means suffering (1 Pet 2:21). We are called to suffer. Are we willing to follow Christ and endure suffering?

Sometimes when I think my cross is too heavy and crude for me to bear, the scene of Gangamma flashes across my mind. She has lost her fingers and toes to leprosy. She lives by begging. She comes to me once a month for help. I look at her tattered MCMR shoes and shaven head. The few teeth she has are orange. Will I exchange shoes with her asking her to take my place so I can take her place? Horror hits me like a bullet. Oh, never! God has blessed me so much. Suddenly my cross became a light dainty, golden one hanging in my chain. I started singing at the top of my voice:" Count your blessings!" How trivial are the inconveniences and slights of life compared to the real burdens that some carry? How light has been the load God has asked me to carry! The cross is a gift that God has dropped into our lives.

A smog hangs over Christianity. Cross-bearers, note what Gandhi said, "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, and then you win." Our future lies in recovering what might have been lost. Against staggering odds, we must set out to achieve our vision in the mission of restoring the cross to its position. Only then we shall be able to move forward into the future. The future can be better than the present and every cross-bearing Christian has a personal and moral responsibility to make it so. The positive changes can be dramatic.

For the apostles, the cross was the impetus. They handled just about anything life threw at them. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, "Among God's churches we boast of your perseverance and faith in all the PERSECUTIONS and TRIALS you are enduring. All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result, you will be counted WORTHY of the Kingdom of God, for which you are SUFFERING" (2 Thess 1:4). Carrying your cross is like breathlessly toiling up a mountain; but when you reach the top at the end of your life, the view is breath taking! That will dwarf everything else. Let's pray for the comeback of the “cross" culture. Crux means, "the most important thing," in Latin. It is the Latin word for cross. We say, "Such and such is the crux of the matter." The cross of Christ is the crux of Christianity.

Have I cleared all four papers? Am I worthy of Jesus?

Dr. Lilian Stanley
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Vellore 632006, India
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